Outside the rains begin to fall as autumn comes again. Winds grow strong and cold wraps around the earth creating a longing inside to belong and have some one there. Someone to hold through the long nights and take care of telling them it will be alright. Someone to say I love you to and mean it more then life.
Hallows eve slowly approaches and the anniversary of giving my heart away. Little hope has been kept that I’d ever be happy again or consumed by the beautiful darkness that once crept into my soul; that feeling where you’re connected with yourself and everything around when you can hear the different sounds of the world and feelings hidden with in. Loneliness has to even vanish giving a void to its comfort of wallowing in sorrow and need turning life into a routine that you can’t seem to hate or love.
Magic comes from a hidden place and life throws random things in your path. These paths do not follow any rules or structure though at times it seems to just be a circle. We continue a winding path and every once in a while when it seems that nothing could change something jumps from the woods. At times it’s a dangerous bear or bandits to steal our hearts and at other times it’s the darkest angel or the most shining light of gold.
Like the birds outside my window I too must fly through the winds and rain searching ever more for that place where I may rest. That place where we get to find our lake of dreams and settle down next to it making life come to us. When I have the one to build my cabin of hopes with then I will settle down and carry her to bed kissing her all the while speaking the words of love and truth. On that day when the world comes to life reminding me why I’ve flown through the storms and the lightning I will truly have the strength to defend. For what is the use of fighting and surviving when you don’t have a home?
Home is not a place but a feeling. Love is home where ever it may go. Whether it be in the grandest of mansions or the coldest of streets begging for your food. Heaven or hell it does not care love is home to me.
So on this coldest darkest night as I think of all that’s been and all that may be I wonder if it’s possible to find home again. When the year is right and life is set will you find your way to me? Will you be the home that I’ve longed to see or just another comfort through one of the nights on my way to that lake that resides somewhere out there calling out my name? Are you the heaven that I’ve searched for; light shining in the sky?
Dearest you’ve fallen fast I see and you’ve brought me down with you. Giving me the chance to let go of the past and hold on to new dreams again. Dare I say I need you now or forever will? For darling you know the truth I’ve loved before as each heart break wears out the little strength with in. So I’m telling you tonight that I’ve given the chance to you to show the way again. What ever this may be I found you in a dream a long, long time ago and now that dream is here waiting to be seen. To discover whatever meaning there is that lies with in. One day my love we’ll know how the pieces long to fit.
So life finds me here again waiting through the night. Weighted down my heart feels too weak to go on and I wish that you were here. Each night that we’re apart, each hour your voice is gone it seems it was never real. The feelings we longed to share, the destiny we questioned seems to fade so quickly leaving a hollow heart.
If I promised you forever would you be there in the end? Or would you turn and walk away like I always seem to find? Would I break upon your heart or be worn out by the past? Does it matter when I’m gone or when he’s by your side? Tell me love the answers when you find that they are clear. For in this game you’re not alone I’m just as lost as you.
Fighting to survive through each and every day; constantly searching for a reason to get me through the night. I’m powerless to emotions and destroyed when they seem to leave. If something could last forever I wish it would be real. If something can bring me through the days other then this painful torment I wish that it would come and sweep me off my feet lifting me up and letting me sink into a beautiful darkness wrapping so sweetly around.
