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LilAngel's blog: "About me"

created on 09/09/2008  |  http://fubar.com/about-me/b244145
I don't normally write out anything much about me for people to browse. I figure if someone wants to get to know me they will take the time to do so but with how busy my life is lately I figured it might be easier to finally give the about me a little thought. The most important thing for anyone to know about me is that I am a single mom. I love my kids and they are my world. I work hard and do everything single handedly to raise them! I'm not complaining nor do I want kudos for doing it. I just respect myself alot for how hard I work at making ther lives happy and fulfilling and expect respect back is all. It's not easy to raise kids as a couple, so you can imagine playing both mom and dad gets tricky sometimes but I think I do a pretty good job and don't really care what random people may think. I have three beautiful children that live with me and one that lives with his dad. I would do anything for my kids and do not accept people into my life or heart too easily. Accepting someone into your life too quickly also allows them into you children's lives and they dont have much of a say in what's going on. I've learned not to be too trustful of too many so if I trust you then there's either something really special about you or you've really worked hard to earn the trust from me. I'm a busy person to say the least being on my own with three kids so don't take offense if I do not answer you right away or at all. With three kids only God knows what they could be up to or when I will be distracted by them. I'm here to make friends and pass time, when I have time...lol. I'm not here to see your private parts and chances are if I didn't post it in my folders, it's something I don't wanna share with you so don't ask. If it's in your folders and I wanna see then I'll look. It's none of your business if I have a webcam or not. Don't ask please. That's something that you'll have to wonder about I guess. Don't come online and tell me I have a great ass and then ask me if I wanna hook up! What a winning line!! Woo hoo! Go you! I'm not here to "hook up" and if I wanna hook up with you I will tell you! I wouldn't post pics of my ass if I didn't think it looked good. If you don't like it, get out of my pics folders then! Unless you mean something to me, your opinion doesn't really mean too much because at the end of the day only my opinion counts. I'm the one that actually has to live with me! Now that I'm done sounding like a bitch here's some stuff about me... I'm a very caring and loving person! I know the whole bitch routine has probably got you convinced otherwise but screw it, lol. Atleast you know where I stand! I love my friends. I am the type to do anything for you if I care about you. Sometimes it backfires on me and the nice guy finishes last but at the end of the day when I look in the mirror I know I'm a good person! I give my all to those I love and even give my all to those who seem in need. My biggest downfall is that I can't give up on people until long after it has bitten me in the ass. I will meet someone and see the good in them, even through all the shit and wish that they could focus on that part of them instead of being screw ups. That said I really do give way too many chances to people! Knowing this will never change who I am though, I just have to keep working at finding a happy medium because knowing I have made an impact in someone's life means alot to me! I am a very dedicated family oriented person! I respect people that take care of their loved ones alot because I know how hard it is! I do as much as I can for my mom who is not in the best of health and it's exhausting sometimes but it is a labor of love! When I say my "dad", I do not mean my biological father! He was never around and I found later in years what a good thing that was. I had a father figure if you can call him that from around 2 or so until 15. That's one of those nunya things...nunya business! If you get really close to me it may come up but until then, well don't worry about it because I hate talking about the bastard! I waited 15 years to be someone's little girl, that's when my mom met Dave! That is, was and always will be my daddy! I was an evil bitch to him and he always told me he loved my mom, me and my rother and would never hurt us and that one day I would love him! Well, we lost him October 11, 2006 at 51 years old and a large piece of my soul went with him! I took care of him on hospice care when he died of cancer and held his hand and talked to him as he left us, telling him to go home and know that one day we would join him! It was the hardest thing I have ever done and I would do it all over again because it helped make me who I am now and it showed him he really was my dad! He left us keeping that promise to always love us and never hurt us. Not too many people in this world do that! He always tried so hard and deserved to know his efforts were not in vain! I also learned my mom has emphysema and lost my grandmother along with 9 friends in the last 3 years. Needless to say these events had a profound impact on my life and changed who I am forever! I never realized how short life could be nor how much I took the people I love and care about for granted! I realized I wasn't really the person I wanted to be and needed to make some changes and make more time for my family and friends which is no easy task with all I have to do. found me I was always the type to tear up over a sad movie or cry at a funeral but the last 3 years has found me to be a much more emotional person in every way! I cry at weddings, over births, sad movies, funerals, frustration, anger...lol...ok so I'm a cry baby! But really, I think I just realized I didn't always have to be the cool, calm and collected one. I stopped caring about what people think and just do me. I'm not afraid to be myself and I wish I would have realized this years ago! I'm alot happier now and I think that being worried what others will think is a big part of most peoples unhappiness. With this change also came the refusal to settle! I'm a great girl with alot to offer and don't deserve anything but the best and true happiness! I've made my mistakes and I've found my share of mistakes, lol...but I know that when I least expect it, I'll find what I want in life! Most people settle and that's why they spend their lives miserable! I'd rather be alone, happy with who I am than have someone and wake up every morning asking why me? I used to be shy! Dont ask me what happened because damned if I know! I guess with not caring about opinions, I also stopped worrying if other people liked me and that made it easier to like myself! I laugh too loud, sing off key in the car, the shower, while I'm cleaning my house and just about anywhere. If you were to catch me I'd probably act goofy and sing even more off key and laugh! I like to make people laugh. I was always the serious type but now most of the times I'm nutty as hell and can usually make anyone smile no matter how bad the day is going. I'm one of the most outgoing people you'll ever meet! The area I live in is not the type where everyone knows you but I make it a point to be nice even when I just wanna scream and I think the way I treat people is the biggest part of why I am on a first name basis and even friends with so many people you would just say hi to and know nothing else about in most cases. I'm the loudest one in the crowd most of the time...when it's me and the girls. I'll drag you out on the dance floor and make you have fun if you try to stand at the bar though I can't dance for shit! I still get a little self concious when it comes to dancing with guys at the club though. I was too busy working to help my mom support the house when all my friends went to school dances and I really never had anyone take the time to teach me. Get a couple strong drinks in me...it'll all work out. LOL! I don't sleep. Really, alot of people have already figured that out. Bad habit but just as bad as me smoking cigarettes I guess in the long run! I'm a natural flirt! If a guy is gonna be with me he has to realize it's in my nature and if I'm with him, then there's no one else and be confident enough to know I'm not going anywhere. I hate needy guys that don't take care of themselves or expect a woman to depend on them and are unable to accpet a confident woman that is independent chooses to be with them because they want to and not because they need to! A needy relationship goes no where quick! I guess the combination of lack of confidence and neediness in one fashion or another is why I stay single for some part. I'm impulsive. I'll be sitting watching tv one minute and loading the kids up for a 3 hour drive to watch the sunset on the beach the next! I can't stand being in a crowd all the time but love to go out. Guess it depends on the mood. If I'm happy with someone, it can be a blanket under a tree staring at the sky or a crowded store and I'll be content just to be with them enjoying the time together! I'm easy to make happy! Don't cheat, don't put your hands on me, treat me with dignity and respect and love me and I'll never hurt you...friend or whatever the relationship may be. While that's not all, the rest is something you'll have to figure out. Each relationship of sorts is different. I'm loyal as hell. My true friends can tell ya that! I'm moody as hell too sometimes but that goes with the teritory of being a girl! I'm an adrenaline junky! I flew a cessna a couple winters ago just cause it was on my to do list in life. Bungee jumped too. I drive to fast because I love the feeling of being "almost" out of control and the rush I get knowing how close to the edge I am. I always said the song "Drivin" by Rush was written for me. Check out the lyrics sometime! I wanna sky dive someday. Just haven't had the time nor finances and really do not want to go alone! Parasailing is another of my to dos. If it scares me or the thought of it scares me in the same sorta way sky diving does then I'd probably do it. At the same time that I love adrenaline I'm not stupid. I HATE driving in the ice and snow! Had a bad accident this past February and had a hard tme the rest of the winter. We'll see this year if I got over it but I doubt it! Colors: Pink and green Food: Seafood and trying ethnic foods from anywhere (Love indian food)! I'm allergic as hell to mussels and oysters though....ewww. Music is just about anything really, couldn't imagine life without music...tv I could take it or leave it! My favorite season is summer but I can find something about each I like and they all have their beauty. Drinks: Grey Goose Vodka and cranberry or RedbullI have an electronics issue...I buy shit really impulsively because I love gadgets lmao Cannot live without coffee...lol Smoke too much DO NOT DO DRUGS! Damn things are nothing but trouble! BTW- If I ask you how you are, I really do wanna know or I would have just said hi! If you made it though this whole thing I gotta say I'm impressed. Guess you really do want to get to know me, or you're bored as hell. Lol. Either way, I'm bored writing now, lol. Wanna know anything else than take the time to find out!
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