It really sucks to be in a relationship, and be so completely lonely all the time. I wasn't desired before, I wasn't wanted before, I was pushed aside. I was discarded for his own needs and wants.
I don't want to be lonely, and I can't go anywhere else, because I'm in a relationship. I'm stuck in the middle, not getting what I want, or need, and still here.
Why is it that there are walls around relationships? Why do we do that? Why can't we understand that relationships have phases? I get it. I do.
I just want one where it is more than one phase. The "he's tired of me, so take me for granted" phase, and then when it's time to go to the next phase, nothing, till I make a move, then it's the "You are mine, and I don't want to lose you, so I'll smother you phase"
I just want to be more than mom. I want to be desired, I want to be thought of as attractive. I don't want to be lonely, and not have my needs and desires ignored.
WTF am I in a relationship for then?? to be lonely??
