Spirit in Black's blog: "Lonely Hearts only Friend"

"Tortured amongst the living Lost amongst the dead Not knowing which way to turn Seeking ever more guidance Yet none to be found The darkness slowly takes over Quieting the cries of light I welcome you night stalker He brings about a new life My soul now happy Freed of its repressed life While modern day society still does not accept I cry shun me as you will The darkness has called me and I welcome Its will"

"Judge me as you may I see this with your eyes You stare, assuming you know me But in reality you know not You think a glance tells my fate My life decided by your stare Your ignorance child please do not share In my life I decide And as for your judgments Well I do not care"

I am darkness I am Light I walk amongst both Lost within the sights The darkness calls me by first name But the sun craves my loving ways The moons crys for my blood As the sun sighs of my wicked ways I am darkness I am light

Ok depression i think is this lonely hearts only true friend. I've been alone almost all my life and i'm so tried of it but everytime i try i just get shut down or they just wanna a quick fuck. Am i that unattractive? Why can i have a relationship? Why can't i have someone that wants to date me? I want to have that something that as of now i can never have. I guess at this rate gray would be the color of my heart anymore. I'm always the person that everyone comes to for their promblems for their dating or relationship issues yet no one ever stops to see how hurt and alone i am or how much it sucks to hear how they got someone interested in them or how they're getting engage or they are having kid while everyday i sit alone depressed alone trying so hard not to let it eat me alive. Come on doesn't someone find me attractive? Doesn't someone want to date me?