LMAO Blog by KellBell
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KellBell's blog: "LMAO"

created on 11/15/2006  |  http://fubar.com/lmao/b24829
So Im trying to make a shopping list for food and cant come up with anything good...any ideas?

EVEN AFTER MY WIFE TOLD HIM SHE IS MARRIED AND NOT INTERESTED HE IS STILL TRYING TO GET HER TO MEET HIM AND TELLING HER NOT TO TELL ME. eaglefeather99

@ CherryTAP

BUT IF YOU FIND YOU CANNOT STOP UNTIL YOU REACH THE END THEN YOU MUST HAVE A VERY BIG HEART... Mommy.. Johnny brought a gun to school, He told his friends that it was cool, And when he pulled the trigger back, It shot with a great crack. Mommy, I was a good girl, I did What I was told, I went to school, I got straight A's, I even got the gold! But Mommy, when I went to school that day, I never said good-bye, I'm sorry Mommy, I had to go, But Mommy, please don't cry. When Johnny shot the gun, He hit me and another, And all because Johnny, Got the gun from his older brother. Mommy, please tell Daddy; That I love him very much, And please tell Zack; my boyfriend; That it wasn't just a crush. And tell my little sister; That she is the only one now, And tell my dear sweet grandmother; I'll be waiting for her now, And tell my wonderful friends; That they always were the best; Mommy, I'm not the first, I'm no better than the rest. Mommy, tell my teachers; I won't show up for class, And never to forget this, And please don't let this pass. Mommy, why'd it have to be me? No one deserves this, Mommy, warn the others, Mommy I left without a kiss. And Mommy tell the doctors; I know they really did try, I think I even saw a doctor, Trying not to cry. Mommy, I'm slowly dying, With a bullet in my chest, But Mommy please remember, I'm in heaven with the rest. Mommy I ran as fast as I could, When I heard that crack, Mommy, listen to me if you would, I wanted to go to college, I wanted to try things that were new, I guess I'm not going with Daddy, On that trip to the new zoo. I wanted to get married, I wanted to have a kid, I wanted to be an actress, Mommy, I wanted to live. But Mommy I must go now, The time is getting late, Mommy, tell my Zack, I'm sorry but I had to cancel the date. I love you Mommy, I always have, I know; you know it's true, And Mommy all I wanted to say is, "Mommy, I love you." ****In Memory of The Columbine Students Who Were Lost**** Please if you would, Pass this around, I'd be happy if you could, Don't smash this on the ground. If you pass this on, Maybe people will cry, Just keep this in your heart, For the people who didn't get to say "Good-bye".
Top Four Adult Jokes of 2006 Fourth Place: A man bumps into a woman in a hotel lobby and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, "Ma'am, if your heart is as soft as your breast, I know you'll forgive me." She replies, "If your penis is as hard as your elbow, I'm in room 221." Third Place: One night, as a couple lays down for bed, the husband starts rubbing his wife's arm. The wife turns over and says "I'm sorry honey, I've got a gynecologist appointment tomorrow and I want to stay fresh. "The husband, rejected, turns over. A few minutes later, he rolls back over and taps his wife again. "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?" Runner Up: Bill worked in a pickle factory. He had been employed there for a number of years when he came home one day to confess to his wife that he had a terrible compulsion. He had an urge to stick his penis into the pickle slicer. His wife suggested that he should see a sex therapist to talk about it, but Bill said he would be too embarrassed. He vowed to overcome the compulsion on his own. One day a few weeks later, Bill came home and his wife could see at once that something was seriously wrong. What's wrong, Bill?" she asked. "Do you remember that I told you how I had this tremendous urge to put my penis into the pickle slicer?" Oh, Bill, you didn't" she exclaimed. Yes, I did" he replied. My God, Bill, what happened?" "I got fired." "No, Bill. I mean, what happened with the pickle slicer?" Oh...she got fired too." Winner: A couple had been married for 50 years. They were sitting at the breakfast table one morning when the wife says, "Just think, fifty years ago we were sitting here at this breakfast table together." "I know," the old man said. "We were probably sitting here naked as a jaybird fifty years ago." "Well," Granny snickered. "Let's relive some old times." Where upon, the two stripped to the buff and sat down at the table. "You know, honey," the little old lady breathlessly replied, "My nipples are as hot for you today as they were fifty years ago." "I wouldn't be surprised," replied Gramps. "One's in your coffee and the other is in your oatmeal."
The awards for the 2006 season are on tnt @9 pm on TNT.

LMAO

THATS RIGHT IM LMAO AT THE GIRLS THAT KEEP POTING THE SAME BULLETINS OVER AND OVER AND OVER BECAUSE NOONE IS PAYING ATTENTION TO THEM HAVENT YOUR GOTTEN THE POINT ALREADY IF THEY HAVENT COMMENTED YET THERE NOT GONNA. SO CHILL A LITTLE...STOP SOUNDING SO DESPERATE AND IM SURE THEY WILL SEE YOU EVENTUALLY.OH AND THIS ISNT FOR DAISY DUKE..YOU KNOW WHO YOU ARE FUCKING HOTT..
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