I have fought this for 16 years and I have lost.
This has, finally, consumed me.
This has become my source of strength.
This now defines who I am.
I know I am self-destructing.
I know I am destroying myself, but I cannot stop.
I am not even sure I want to stop anymore.
Maybe this was always meant to be my fate, my destiny.
I sometimes wonder if this is my way of trying to hold onto the person I once was.
I barely remember that person anymore though.
I think that part of me died a long time ago.
This is my life now.
This will keep me going, until it kills me.
