Like the seasons,
life brings many things,
and many people into our lives,
some will stay and some will fade.
Unfortunatly we can always choose who will do what...
and our hearts...get torn and battered,
like the waves hitting the sand.
wearing us down untill there is little left that we remember..
or what is left has been damaged so much,
that we will never be the same,
sometimes I wish just to fade away,
to forever be forgotten,
and feel no more pain,
to say goodbye and no longer have these tears,
my constant companions,
streaming down my face.
but a little voice calls me back everytime...
momma, mommy..
echos in my ears,
and for him I am here,
trying to become me yet again,
tearing away what I found comfort in, who I found love with,
to just be me,
and the secret is,
I don't like me,
she hurts,
she cries,
she dies inside, because she dares to try yet again,
and I am sure she will again,
and for that I hate myself,
for needing you, or anyone,
yet I do and I will..need someone,
at some time....
but now is the time to choose,
between bitterness and forgiveness..
of myself, you, and our respective past.
A drink and these words,
are all I have at the moment,
for something must be missing,
because I always end up this way,
Either my heart is blind,
or I am simply foolish to believe in love,
for the people I choose seem to find fault with me,
and I like myself even less,
now than before,
I am broken,
only my son holds me here...
on top of the ground,
instead of underneath,
words of paper, words of men,
words of this silly woman/child, forever haunted by the past,
I seem doomed to repeat...
my heart is torn,
my tears sting my cheeks,
and one more breath and I move on to the next day,
the next week, the next season.
and I pray, that someday you will be happy,
and so will I.
