XaviRoseMaiden's blog: "thinking , reflecting"

Another year is almost over , and i still remember the sunshine , the smiles .. the way you guys looked at me like i was family .. i was at home .. there was nothing i could do to not belong ... you guys saw the best and the worst of me .. And it ripped my heart open to leave , and it ripped my heart open to stay .. there was no way i could leave my daughter , when i promised her id be back , there was no way i could sleep at night knowing she wasn't there in my arms .. My family told me to stay but i really had no choice but to leave ..i had to finish this thing for once and for all . And now my ex is finally out of my heart in most ways . hes a friend and the father of my daughter , but i know hes not the one for me , and im not the one for him .. and lifes goes on .. we turn over so many rocks trying to fighting youll ge the right one .. theres so much much in the saying that once u start stop looking they will find you ...well im tired of looking tired of putting myself out there im just going to live my life . one step at a time .. love doesnt drift away ... love remains ... and theres nothing you can do to change it .. 

So here i here again waiting for chirstmas to come , im making sure im not alone for the holidays .. cause its such a sucky time to be alone . i'll be with friends and family , especially my lil girl .. and that is so precious .. i got her back . now i just have to do everything within my power to keep her .. and raise her the best i can so she can go out into theworld again ... 

time is a strange thing , sometimes it seems like its fliying and sometimes it seems like its saying still .. but it never stops .. it never pauses no matter what happens , kind of like the ocean .. and if you don't keep swimming it drags u under...