I decided to sit down and write this shit, to let you know things I cannot say. I cannot be truly Happy, without you by my side, when I am with you I try to keep my pride, you have moved on, from me, from the past, but mostly from us... and all this time I have been wondering how you are, and now I know your fine. I've been asking myself why... Why did I let you go? and now I know, cuz your happy. Ive often wondered how cute your babies would be, and now I know, cuz you have made them. I also ask myself why sit here and cry, and now I know, its cuz I miss you! I didnt know why I got teary when I hung up the phone, but I know now, its cuz I still love you. Im always happy when we talk, why? cuz you complete me. We were once perfect, which was in the past, now your happy, my only wish was that one day you would be. You openly admit you Love me still, that you could fall for me all over again, your so proud to announce to friends 'I dated her' or 'this is who I'm talking to' You seem to want to show me off to the world, as if I still yours, and it kills me that I'm not. It should be us! as a whole! not me and you or you and I, I miss you and I still love you to this day! I've never forgotten you, and I always talk about you. I know once you read this you will think differently of me, so I've tried to find ways to stop you from seeing it, but then... What would have been the sense of writing it?
Its been over 3 years, and I still to this day look back to the times we shared, even the stupid ones, We never had a fight, not one argument. We got along so great then, and still do now, I know I can rely on you to make me smile, and laugh. I can be myself with you, and its a great feeling, I dont have to wear the mask with you, cuz you know me as not too many do. I can be open with you and you do not judge me, I can try to hide my feelings and you still feel my pain, and to know I can reach out and touch you... it scares me, cuz I know you'd touch me back. and it scares me that you still love me, cuz I dont want to ruin what you have now by telling you the same. You have my love and always will, you are my life, my shelter, my heart, and your always on my mind. Your my protection, my rock, and my shoulder to cry on, but most of all your my friend... and I know with every tear I cry, thats what it will remain. I've tried to move on, and all I think of is you, I've tried to be happy, but its impossible with the way I compair everyone to you. Thats enough of this story though Im sure that everyone that reads it is tired of doing so... so I'm out!
Kisses n Hugs
~!~Much Love~!~
