I really don't seem to get it i suppose. People seem to give me all these hints towards things i should pick up on and i just don't seem to catch on; or, else i do and i just choose not to accept the outcome of what it will be. I come across as and asshole most of the time for just the way i talk and approach things. I tell it how i see it with no sugar coating. I also think that i'm a pretty decent guy towards woman. I might say sorry to much to woman only because i care to much and try to show them i actually care and willing to listen to whatever.
Maybe this is my flaw. I just seem to care to much about woman. I try to fully open up to things that are on my mind, even though not everything i should share but i do. It anyone is to truely understand me they need to hear everything, good and bad. I know by opening up i will just get hurt in the end but its the risk i'm always willing to do and take. Most the time i don't get the full respect back or the openness that i am looking for.
Relationship just go way the hell down hill for me. Either i can't keep one going for more than 6 months to a year or i can't even get a woman to date me period. Its a damn hit or miss thing with me and more than usual its a miss. Must be a piece of shit or something. Maybe i stink, who knows. I have confidence in talking or wanting to try and do stuff but just doesn't seem to be enough at times. I might struggle at times about what to exactly talk about.
Recently i'm struggling just to keep my head above water with a certain woman. Everything i seem to do always comes to a hault, dead in the road. Every week, hell every day sometimes, i just don't know where i exactly stand with her. Some weeks we hangout most of the days and it feels wonderful and lets me think maybe it could work then the next week i'm old news, don't seem to matter or even exist. Really hurts and makes me want to give up. Most I talk to about it just tell me there is other woman out there. Yea there is but i just don't have the luck that most people seem to have. I hold on cause i really want it to work out. Maybe the constant dead ends i keep getting are hints to me that maybe i should just give up and move on. Maybe its what she wants but she really wont tell me. Want to believe it could work. Told her how i feel.
Tired of it all always ending up the same, just want it to be different just once and actually work out...
