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I love KIM's blog: "LIFE"

created on 12/17/2006  |  http://fubar.com/life/b35392

the awaken

I have aske dyou to read this because YOU are now or were at some point a very important part of my life. The past few weeks have been very dificult for me and I have come to the point wheer i have got to say this and try and move on. Last year I went thru a divorce,losing my best friend, and finding out that I am adopted and everything I thought I knew about me has been a lie.The man that i divorced has meet someone new and I am happy for him but I have pretended that I am ok with it to just keep peace in the family well I am not ok with it and from this moment on i am leaving it in the past. I have not spoken to the man I called daddy now for almost three months and that doesnt bother me anymore. I have not forgotten my best friend I worry about her everyday. I have listened to other people and done what they thought was best when dealing with her . To her I am sorry for that. We have all done wrong and no one is perfect especially me. There are two things I know for sure and those are my kids. I do everything for them. For those who read this please be ready for the change you will see in me , no i havent lost it, I am not on drugs, and this is not something that will go away . I am not going to keep it in to make someone else happy.cause it makes me sick. I have no past and the only family i have that i know is mine is my kids. To my ex i wish him the best in live and i hope he is happy. To what i knew to be my family you all lied to me you are not my family and i think it is best that you go your way and i will go mine. To the woman i knew as best friend for over a year. I wish you the best, I would love to be able to have you as close as we once were but that is up to you. I have tried and i get the door shut in my face. I am here if you want to talk. if anyone is hurt by this I am sorry but i must move on and make things right for me and my kids.

SUX

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THE DREAMJOB TURNS OUT TO SUX AND THE NEW SCHOOL TOO???????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

new pics

i have posted new pics please check them out

the past

THE PAST IS JUST THAT THE PAST. I HAVE TRIED FOR THE PAST YEAR TO CHANGE IT AND I LEARNED THE HARD WAY IT CAN NOT BE DONE. I LOST EVERYTHING THAT I KNEW TO BE THE RIGHT THING AND THE WAY LIFE SHOULD WORK. TODAY I START OVER AND I CAN ONLY PRAY THAT I DONT MAKE THE SAME MISTAKES AGAIN. LOVE IS JUST A FANTASY SOMETHING YOU THINK YOU HAVE BUT IN THE END IT IS ONLY A DREAM. HARMONY FALLS IN THE SAME DREAM. LIVE YOUR LIFE BUT NEVER GIVE YOUR HEART AWAY CAUSE WHEN IT COMES BACK IT WILL BE BROKE. HOLD ON TO THE REAL THINGS AND NEVER LET THEM GO AND TRUST ONLY YOURSELF CAUSE IT IS HARD TO PUT A KNIFE IN YOUR OWN BACK.

Back stabbers

DO YOU EVER GET TO THE POINT IN YOUR LIFE WHERE YOU JUST WANT TO KILL THE NEXT PERSON WHO PUTS A KNIFE IN YOUR BACK. WELL I AM AT THAT POINT NOW. IN THE LAST TWO DAYS I HAVE BEEN PLAYED A FOOL AND LIED TO AND I AM TIRED OF IT. JUST WHEN I TAKE A STAND TO GET MY LIFE TOGETHER THEN I GET THESE IDIOTS WHO WANT TO PLAY GAMES AND TRY TO MAKE ME FAIL. WELL NICE TRY BUT NOT THIS TIME. IF U HAVE EVER BEEN THERE GIVE ME A SHOUT OUT.

Starting over

Starting over is always the hardest part. No matter how old you are or at what point in ypour life it hits it is always hard. I have been seperated and then divorced ofr a little over a year now and I am just starting over now. No I didnt do it when we first seperated and I dont know why. But now I am doing it I am facing up to the wrong I did and I am trying to grow up some. I think it is best to just get away from the whole thing and life your own life. I was somehow still in the thought of mind that i was in the family just living in seperate homes . Well that didnt work. I am divorced and I have to be an adult about this i only have to answer to my kids and do right by them. It is hard not having that other part of you around especially when you have been married for as long as we were but it must happen. He is lucky he has a very nice lady who loves him and only wants the best for him . Maybe one day I will find someone as special. Just had to get this off my chest , I am sure there are others out there like me if so give me a shout out.

I NEED A DRINK

IT HAS BEEN A BAD WEEK AND I NEED A TALL STIFF DRINK AND A GOOD FRIEND. i NEED ONE THAT DOESNT WANT TO BE THE CENTER OD ATTENTION ALWAYS AND REALLY MEANS WHAT THEY SAY AND DO. NOT AN ACTOR I PROMISE IN RETURN TO BE THE BEST FRIEND I CAN BE , BE THERE WHEN YOU NEED SOMEONE AND TO OFFER WHAT I CAN.
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