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DJ Al Coholic's blog: "life"

created on 08/16/2010  |  http://fubar.com/life/b335313

rambling

I'm not even sure why I'm doing this.  Ya, that's a great way to start this shit lol.  I've had a fucked up year so far. My Aunt had a stroke last night, a good friend just lost someone close, before that I broke up with someone that I truly loved, before that I quit snow plowing, and started off the year being fucked up and missing the stroke of midnight which I had plans for....  Ya, it's been fuckin wonderful so far.  Well, with all this shit happening, plus some other odds and ends like me being me and throwing people away from some unknown reason like me getting a fuckin hair across my ass of them not seeing things EXACTLY how I see em. I've been doing a lot of thinking.  Life's fuckin short man... Life isn't about being the fuckin hard ass that I am all too often.   I guess I'm learning or... trying to learn how to be a different me. A BETTER ME.  A longgggggg time ago I worked for someone whos dad was dying of cancer and I thought I was doing the right thing by not giving him a cig... SERIOUSLY... the dude's already DYING FROM CANCER!!!! I was a fuckin asshole not to give him the cig. What's it gonna do, shorten his life by 3 seconds??? I don't know, I'm fuckin rambling. I'm sorry if you took the time to read this, again, not even sure why I wrote it. If you take anything out of this besides I'm a weird fuckin dude... please try and learn from people, and be kind to eachother... you really have no fuckin clue when someone's gonna take their last breath.

9-11 poem

Just tell me why

I have to fight and die

Is it just another lie

Is this my last good-bye?

How dare they call me free

Claim it’s for liberty

It’s just another killing spree

In the name of my Country

Our Government lied

My brothers died

To many mothers cried

In the name of false pride

Take a look at life now

Sit back and wonder how

How are my brothers dead

Who’s next to have their blood shed

The seas are turning red

This shit’s fuckin with my head

They give me this gun

I’m not the right one

I’m still too young

I just wanna run

Run to the hills

Live life for the thrills

I’m not the type that kills

Don’t waste my time

Time’s a priceless thing

What’s the next moment gonna bring

Is it life or death

Have I taken my last breath

Should I want the answer

Will it kill me like cancer

Is it time to meet my maker

Be slapped in a box by an undertaker

Death comes to all

But who makes that call

Who’s next to fall

Why isn’t it my call

I just want to live

I got more time to give

But they don’t care how I feel

Don’t they know this game’s for real

Who made these rules

Shouldn’t I get to choose

This gun ain’t my tool

Am I bein played for a fool

Uncle Sam said it’s my job

To kill some nameless slob

I can’t handle another scream

Wish this were just another dream

taking a break

Just wanted to let everyone know. I'm taking a break from fubar. I've made some awesome friends on here, made some enemies, had some fun, laughs and all that good stuff.  I'm taking the break because there's.... something wrong with me and I can't figure it out.  Last night was one of the scariest nights of my life.  I honestly didn't think I was going to wake up in the morning.  I thankfully did, even though there are some people that probably wish I didn't.  I've been overloaded, overwhelmed, and over worked recently.  Last night I opened up and said some things to people.  Some I should have and needed to, others that were just said out of pure emotion... the emotion of being scared and wanting to hurt people to make it easier on them in case I didn't make it.  I know this is/was foolish but it's done and I can't undo the past.  I'm sorry for those that I hurt and thankful to those who cared and listened.  BTW, I'm known as a drunk on here, I'm doing this with no alcohol in my system.  That's another thing I'm going to be working on while I'm trying to get better.  Thanks again for everything... those that I call friends.  I hope to be able to come back on here one day as a better person.  Well, looks like I should end this blog since my body won't stop shaking.  Goodbye, hopefully just for not.

                                                                                                           DJ Al Coholic

                                                                                                           Tom

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