beca's blog: "this pain is just to real"

This pain is just to real

The things I feel and the things I need

Are not here

So every now and then I drop a tear

I cant sleep I just seem to weep

Im trying to forget those bad memories and those nightmares

But they keep coming

So I keep hiding.

Nobody here is confiding

So I keep crying remembering those nightmares

My mother in heaven is sighing

because im falling in her footsteps

if there is a god

I don't think he is a good god

Because everything I wish for never comes true

I wish I had some clue to y this happened to me

Its just to real..

So I seal my heart

My thoughts

And my life in an envelope

Where only I can know what they say.

Someday everything will be better

But not soon

I just thought I would have a mother when I grew up.

But I guess I screwed up and god took her from me..

I just don't see any life for me.