Why is it when you want to have the best for u it never works out? I am usually a happy guy who lives life to the best he can makes his friends and family happy. I may act all happy and all but deep down I am being torn apart. I try to be happy I try to keep a smile on my face but it just never works out. Every time I think some good happening in my life there always something that bring it down. Is this what life suppose to be or is it like the fairy tale with the happily ever after? Will there be a true happy moment in my life or will it always be a cover up? When I am around my kids I am the happiest man alive but when their not around me I just go into a bad state of mind. I wish I can be happy always but with out my kids I don't think I can. Will I ever find that happy place where I will be forever? Or will I be up and down for the rest of my life. I am getting tired of playing happy. I don't know if I can do it anymore. I don't know if I got the strength to fight it.
