Just when I thought I could stand on my own after all the tormoil, today I buried my 14 yr old niece. There is nothing worse than saying goodbye to someone you were teaching about life and what was in store for them ahead in life. Only to find out, they taught you more than you can ever learn in life in a horrific day. How many times did I tell my son he couldn't stay out and ride his scooter because I was tired of sitting outside? how many times did I not give him 5 more minutes to try his best again on the monkey bars? Saying goodbye to my niece opened my eyes to what I was not indulging myself to in my life. How many times do I have to be selfish or too tired before I realize what I lost? Today I realized, as I said goodbye with tear-filled eyes to my Mindy, that I don't have tomorrow, I only have today. What do I actually have to do that is that important that I can't throw a ball to my son or watch him learn another stunt on his scooter, bike, or skateboard? Pay bills, clean a kitchen, or fold clothes? I don't think so. Not anymore. I can do that once I watch my son sleep and in a slumber that brings him to dreams that I once dreamed myself. I closed my eyes tonight and I realized I wasn't listening to what was being said to me. I found out what I was missing. One clear voice shot through me like a lightening bolt. I am listening now to what I have ignored before. My fears of losing the greatest gift of my life have taken control and I won't miss out on a minute of what life is really about. Money will always come and go. Things will always need replacing, but life....my family and what I have been blessed with....can't ever be replaced.
