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Dramatic Little People

Are you tired of people who bring drama out of the fucking blue? I am. Seriously. If you're gonna play with me, naturally, you may get the shaft sometimes. But its all in fun, never out of malice. Ever. But when you have to be a tool about it-- then you've got fucking problems. The Scooter Bar is by and far the biggest drama fest I've EVER known. They claim not to have any dramatic people and are friendly. While most of them are, they still keep around the people who have proven themsevles to be little fucking drama queens. The only reason I ever visit that shithole anymore is because TalkSic asks me to see his shows. I help him put on the make-up, joke with him, and generally enjoy the music. But now? The only time I will ever go in there is during his shows and I won't say a fucking word.
So, I can safely say that I am happy once again! Just when I thought all was lost, someone came by to be my SuperMan (not like I needed one). He makes me laugh, and all we do is talk about... well... crap! We don't even have real conversations! Its amazing! HE is amazing! Makes me want to pick up my old bags and fly there as fast as possible. He's an awesome friend. Really. Even inspired me to get another tat! I'll post pictures as soon as I possibly can. He promised me that when I come back to Minnesota, we would pull off the pranks of the century! I can't wait! Fun is abound! ~Tinkerbell~

So WHAT?!

I'm gonna start a fight, and you're welcome to fight with me! Even thought that piss ant left me, I'm still a rock star! I'm still loved by everyone! And guess what, you pansy: no one likes you because you're a tool! I'll still dance my ass off, sing my lungs out and party hard! I'm a damned good woman and frankly, you're a drama-prone little pansyass! I don't need you! I'm so glad we're done! I'm gonna show you that I don't need to associate myself with little pissants like you! I AM A ROCK STAR!
Wow, I've been gone for WAYYY too long. So, let me think, what is going on in my life that I need to jabber about? Oh, yeah! First off, I finally divorced that lecherous husband of mine. Thats old news to me but seeing as how I haven't been around, that would be new news to you! James and I didn't mesh. You see, it was our star signs. I am a Scorpio and he is an Asshole. They just don't collide well. Needless to say, he was stupid and didn't show up to the divorce hearing. I told him time and time again when and where it was. Hell, I even paid for it! How nice am I? Since he didn't show, I walked away with full legal and full physical custody of our two sprogs. Not exactly what I intended-- but what am I going to do? I don't want to exile James from their lives permanently. I don't have the heart to do that to the kids. He just needs to wise up and learn to be a dad to them. Secondly, remember that jerkoff I was ranting about. The one who couldn't pick up his own nutsack and move away from his crazy baby's mama? Well, he finally got the cajones and did it. I'm proud of him. At first, when he tried to get back together with me: I was hesitant. I mean, if you're not seeing someone, how can you possibly be living with them? I didn't see the point. Frankly, I didn't want to get hurt again. You see, when I left James, I tried striking up an old flame. Naturally, I was falling for him all over again and found myself actually saying "I love you" and meaning it! (Scary for me) Well, he played me like a country fiddle and hit me with the brick of truthiness when he decided to reveal that his attempt at a relationship with me was just a ruse. Scumsucker. I shouldn't be saying this stuff now. He did what he had to do and became a man by humbling himself before me and explaining the story. I don't forgive him for what he did-- but I love him. Sue me. We've been seeing each other now for some time and we're even going so far as to plan a wedding! Hopefully this isn't another scam. I don't think I could handle falling in love again just to have my feelings shoved down my throat.

A Poem... Not For Kids

Sister Joan, age 54, ignores the desert sun, The stranded church bus smoking, no sign of anyone. Buzzards circle overhead, panic starts to set. The kids are getting restless, her habit soaked with sweat. The minutes become hours, she wobbles in the heat. Then, a distant engine roars, approaching from the East. She squints through horn-rimmed glasses, her pure heart skips a beat. Snake McGinty's Harley Hog, parts the dusty heat. Black leather-clad from head to toe, his eyelids barely open, Sister Joan says, "Holy Ghost, please tell me that you're joking." He parks his bike, stands six foot four, then gives her a nod. Through leather pants his manhood shows, she rolls her eyes at God. "Havin' trouble?", he barely mumbles. "Yes sir", she replies. He pops the hood, takes off his shirt, she covers up her eyes. "Kids", she says, "Back on the bus. Everyone be good." Her fingers part, her eyes take in his reflection off the hood. She grips her rosary tight with guilt and stares down at her socks. Her mind protects her vows with God, but her body picks the lock. He bends to check the fan belt, her nipples say, "Hello". Her eyes climb up his leather chaps like a snail with vertigo. She shuts her eyes and shakes her head, her legs start feeling funny. "Lord", she says, "For work like this, I'm making shitty money." He shuts the hood, "My name is Snake, I'm wanted in five states." She said, "Snake you're my forbidden fruit, and I need a little taste." The kids look on in disbelief. The kiss is slow, then faster. Cheering rocks the school bus, till she says "Snake let's ditch these bastards. As they left, the kids screamed "No", she turned around and waved. Her next confession killed a priest and lasted seven days. For years the scandal rocked the church, but she regained their trust. She still teaches Sunday school, but she doesn't drive the bus.

Sugar-Coated Lovehandles!

((Its in French for a reason!)) L'ok, ainsi moi fais ce blog entier en français. Si vous pouvez le comprendre, grand. Si pas, bien, il l'appartient vous pour traduire mon Babel incohérent. Quant au reste de vous qui deviennent a frustré avec le fait que vous ne comprenez pas le concept d'une autre langue - vous sont simplement sur vos propres. Si tout va bien vous haut sage et vous rendez compte que le monde est un grand endroit complètement de beaucoup de personnes intéressantes. Il est étonnant comme les personnes fermer-occupées peuvent être. Comment pouvons-nous juste marcher par la vie et ne pas embrasser chaque aspect de ce monde ? Pour trop long nous reposons suffisant sur les lignes de touche ; en s'attendant à ce que notre chemin nous dirige dans la direction nos pieds devez aller. Je crois que nous faisons nos propres chemins. Nous mettons un pied avant l'autre et par la suite nous transformons l'herbe en routes de saleté. Et si nous voyageons dans les deux sens entre un endroit qui nous convient ; nous pouvons changer cette route en route. Je crois que ce monde nous vivent dans les besoins d'être reconstruit de la terre vers le haut. Maintenant, je ne parle pas refaisant la révolution. Nous sommes des humains et comme tels, nous sont évolués de par quelque Dieu de conception ait commencé. Tout change et se transforme en quelque chose de plus nouveau. Améliorez pas toujours - mais cela ne signifie pas qu'il ne juge pas le potentiel cru d'être quelque chose de grand. Nous soutenons trop étroitement à l'idéal que tout est comme il a été fait et devrait donc être laissé seul. Non ! Nous avons la responsabilité d'être quelque chose - faire quelque chose. En fin de compte, il est toujours laissé jusqu'à vous pour faire le choix. Même lorsqu'on croit que les choix sont difficiles et pas intéressant regarder - alors ils se refusent une chance de voir l'image plus grande. Pourquoi forefeit ce que nous le faisons nous faire et laissons continuer et malheureux ? La signification de la vie est simple, mais nous la compliquons dans quelque chose qui est trop encombrée avec des mots. Dans un sens, ce que je vous dis tout est : de phase.

Soliel de Minuit

Welcome fans -young, old, and slobberingly drunk. Once again, I must update you on the small things that happen in the short, eighteen-hour day I have. First off, it started when I was awoken by the shrill cry of the brat next door. Now, you're all probably thinking, "Babies do that." She's 15 and for some reason believes that by singing at the top of her lungs in the backyard - she will be discovered. Twice today I had to tell her to keep it down because she was ruining what small amount of peace I get. So, after I shook my fist in anger... I was lucky enough to have the company of Casey. He's such a mooch / leech, but it is well worth i to see him yell at the TV during the De La Hoya / Mayweather fight. He is a big Oscar-Golden Boy fan and as Mayweather mud-stomped that little [insert colorful adjectives], he proceeded to add his own humorous commentary. So... the following is for Casey: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!! Okay, maturity aside, I had to laugh at his expense. Mind you, this might cost me later on - but I honestly don't mind being tied up and left in my closet. I have a lot of fun with my leprechaun friend. Ooh, I finally got a phone call from Christine. So, those of you wondering, she is doing great ad happily connected with her lifepartner of four years. Congrats, Evie, I knew you'd do it. So, other than that... Kisses!!

An Unrequited Love

Softly, her feet barely touching the floor, she walked the long corridor to his room. The stone floors gleamed in the sinister light of the moon that filtered through the long case windows. Her chest knotted up. She knew better than to be out here for the dark purpose she was wandering for. It wasn't right. It wasn't proper. But she needed it. She desired it. Every fiber in her soul lunged out into the darkness and urned for just one sweet, sinful bite. Then sh would be off th stuff for good. That was a false promise. The masonry rework was shoddy the closer she got to his room. The building had to have been well over a couple centuries old - and still livable, to her surprise. Thump. Thump. The beat of her own heart throbbed achingly between her ears. Was this her little voice telling her to turn and run? He couldn't love you. Why are you doing this? He wll turn you away. But he invited you. His eyes begged you to throw your inhibitions away... Damn. Footsteps. And they're coming closer. She searches frantically in the seething darkness for some kind of shelter. Nothing. Either she could risk being caught and have to explain herself for the remainder of her stay or she could dive into his room and run the risk of being shunned away. Which was worse? She couldn't tell. Breath, caught in her trachea kept her from finding the oxygen she needed. Do it, Mina! Just go in! JUST DO IT!

Welcome Back, Kotter?

First off, who the **** is Kotter and secondly, did we know him well enough to welcome him back? Where did he go? Why did we miss him? When did we start caring about people with demented, backwater names? Thank you, Casey, for your much anticipated load of bull**** for the evening. (See, Steve, this is what happens when you allow rabid wolverines to mate with toasters. - Think about Jonas-) Yeah, so, I'm at the computer. Bored as all Hell and trying to figure out if going to bed or bugging a friend is in order. Hell - both sound really nice. I miss you Floofums. I know you miss me too, even if you said you thought I was a permafrost. Just remember, its you and me versus the MEGABEAST! KILL THE MEGABEAST! Either way, this is just a splooge of uselss information. So, stop reading. ... ... Why are you still here? Did you think those dots secretly said, "Please keep reading this, it will benefit mankind!" Actually... hey did say that in really tiny letters. Lol. Laugh! Harder! Faster? *Moan* Oops, spent myself too quickly. XD Here's to you and here's to me and if tomorrow we disagree then **** you and here's to me. Nice, huh? I thought so. Yeah, I DID catch the last fifteen minutes of that show. No. Yes. On th occasion we get a taxidermist to stuff some squirrels, then, yeah.
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