Always go out with a bang.... ALWAYZ! Its the only way to be remembered... or else you'l be considered as 'juss another'.... well I'm far from juss another..... hell, apparently, I was "The One"... so how do you go from being "The One" to juss ....one?
When you meet someone, you initially like them for them... and you alwayz say "I like you for you".... so why down the road do people try to change you? And then you try to change for them, and what do they say? "You changed! You're not the person I first met and fell in Love with...." Lol..... make ya mind up...... so My remedy? I don't change.... only thing that changes is my location and/or work schedule..... I have female friends still, love em to death (shout out to Charlie! Her son birthday is today ;o) also shout out all my homegirls thas still here even though you don't approve of my choice in girlfriends...) yep, love em.... I make music, been doin it for so long in fact that cats in the Army ask me "why aint you signed dog?" and its actually really simple..... I'm in the Army. A&R's and CEO's and Managers aint lookin to the Army for rappers cause its "too much work" for them and they don't want to invest in that kind of time.... at least thass what I been told....
But bacc to the topic... I got friends, I got a career, I got talent, I got kids, I got family, I got dreams..... but I don't have "The One".... and when I think bacc, I could have made it so that I did.... really, juss had to want it bad enough..... now I see that I didn't.... and I don regret it, cause it had to be like that for my own personal growth.... and I'm happy knowing that...
I could make some Shorty a very happy woman... but is it worth making myself unhappy inorder to do so? If I'd rather enjoy life a lil' bit longer and not be tied down; versus her wanting to be tied down by me.... do you bite the bullet? You can't say "well if she really means that much to you..." no, thass not your true fellings.... so don't give me that.... would YOU do it?
Against all odds...... for the rest of your life.... if it meant losing friends..... losin a family member or contact with your children..... if I changed your career and altered your dreams.... could YOU do it? Would you want to? .....but more importantly, why should you have to? Why are we constantly sacrificing for others at the expense of ourselves?
Well today I said that "I'm not doin it... I'm not makin myself unhappy anymore" and all it did was make shiii worse.... juss like alwayz..... so now what? Where do you go from here? Do you go bacc to what you once left behind? Do you search for it again somewhere else? Do you give up? Do you go to church? Do you go to your Grandma and ask her? I mean really.... what do you do? ........well I go here; I go to my MySpace Blog...... and I share it with you.... so incase you ever go through it, you have a reference.... or at least know you not alone.... even if you don't know me.... or even if your a friend.... or even an ex of mine.... you didn't lose J.T., thass impossible....... but I need a break from Life juss like you...... so keep that in mind when you get upset with people cause they don't always feel how you feel or think the way you want them to....... but for those who CAN NOT? ...."yeah, you lost one....."
.....its my swag
