Ali the Restless's blog: "Life. Love and Fubar"

It's strange for me to be writing this really because having started I'm not really sure how to continue. In the time I have been here at Fubar, I have made a few enemies, some very good friends and one person in particular who makes my whole exsistance mean something. No matter what the relationship, I am thankful for each and every one of you. You have all been the source of a great deal of happiness to me and have become a part of my life that I cannot go a day without, and even though Fubar will only allow me to put 50 of you into my fu-family, I wish that I could include each and every one of you. Some of you have known me for quite a long tme, others are only recently getting to know me but I would like to think that I have touched your lives in much the same way that you have all touched mine.

Having said that, and probably sounded like an old fool, I suppose, its time to get to the point. 

I have for a couple of months been suffering from some health problems. Those of you that are close to me will already be aware of them, but I have tried to carry on my everyday life, both real and Fu, as normally and with as little change as possible. However, the recent passing of a friend here on Fubar shook me up a great deal and made me rethink certain things... I miss you Sonya, I hope that you are finally at rest. The saddest thing about Sonya's passing for me was that she couldn't tell people about her pain and her situation. It was all sort of anonymous and that shouldn't ever be the case, because we all leave our own mark, no matter how small, on the people that we know. So having said all that I had better get to the point before I put you all to sleep.

 
This past Saturday (April 2nd.),  I was diagnosed as having lung cancer and this was confirmed to me earlier this morning (Monday). I have been having tests done for several weeks now and I have been expecting this outcome so for me it has come as no real surprise. I have made my peace with it and I am determined to fight it to the best of my ability. Having said that, sometimes you get into fights that you just can't win, so I wanted all of my friends and loved ones here in the place were i have found love and happiness, to hear it from me. I am not angling for sympathy, I am just stating the facts.... I refuse to be anonymous.

 And so, I guess all that I want to say, to all of my friends, is thank you. Thank you for being there, thank you for taking the time to get to know me, thank you for making me laugh and cry, thank you for accepting me into your lives. There are too many to name individually but each one of you has touched my life and enriched it with your presence and one of you in particular, that has made every second that I have known you more important and meaningful than anything I have ever or will ever know.

As I said before, I will be fighting this as hard as I am humanly able to do and I hope to be here for a long a long time to come but if the outcome goes against me and I suddenly disappear for any extended period of time, I want you all to know the reason and not to have to go on hearsay or rumours.

And so, that's about it really... It's really all I wanted to say... Those of you that have read this and not yet fallen asleep, thank you for your patience and understanding and those of you that haven't wont know what the hell it is about anyway (lol).... all that remains to be said I guess is something that I learned from someone who is very important to me and is a great motto to live your life by..... Peace, Love and Rock'n'Roll.