DO you ever wonder why you go through all of the nasty crap you go through in life? I do. Do you ever wonder if the things you go through, you go through for a purpose? I do.
In the last 4 months, I've gone through alot of crazy shit. All of it bad. I lost my girlfriend (which really isn't such a big deal anymore.) Which I must state that she left me for a good reason...but it had nothing to do with a meth addiction. hahahaha (That's for you Angi)
Anyways, aside from losing her....
I've gotten myself into alot of crazy fucked up shit including the following:
*drunken threesomes
*drunken bitch fights
*being kicked out of school
*smoking myself stupid
*realizing who my REAL friends are
*being taken advantage of by people I thought were friends
*being passed around like a sex object
*losing my house
*drinking
*drinking
*and more drinking
so yeah, you do the math. I won't go into details due to certain people getting into my business and what not.
Don't get me wrong. I'm not going to sit here and blame others for my actions....although they do play a role in things. I've made alot of mistakes, but I've definately learned alot from them, and I know now that I won't ever let it happen again.....
It was a tough 4 months, it really was. I'm starting to believe that I'm finding out who I am, and what I want in life.
I feel that I'm slowly growing up and realizing that people are shit, shit happens, and I can move on from it.
In the last 2 weeks, I've managed to weed out all the bad people in my life, stop doing alot of the crazy shit that I do, settle down, and focus on myself and pull my life together. I've stopped dating and looking for any form of relationship with a person....There's just too much drama in it.
Things have changed. I moved to Kent, and I'm now in a wonderful goverment program that pays to help train me for the career I want in life....
I find myself drama free. I'm not happy, but I'm content.
People will try to start shit with me, but I will just turn my head in the other direction, because arguing over petty things isn't going to get me anywhere.
I'm starting to move forward, and this time I walk over anyone who dares to get in my way, because I want to achieve my goals, I want to be something.
Fuck anyone who tries to take that away from me.
SO you see....I HAVE gone through all of these bad things for a reason....the reason being that something good will eventually come my way and I will finally work towards nothing but success and happiness.
I've lost alot of people who I thought were friends....but they obviously weren't friends to begin with if they can't stand behind me and support me through all of this. So fuck em'!
I'm finally feeling good about myself and where my life is going. I'm tired of being viewed as a sex object, treated like a sex object, lied to, and taken advantage of.
I'm tired of people saying that they are going to be here for me, and they never are...but you know what? It doesn't matter anymore, because I don't need them. I can do it all on my own.
I guess what I'm trying to say is....VIVA-LA-JESSICA! Its my time to shine!
Although I haven't been keeping myself as busy as I should, I have been doing little things here and there such as reading books, playing games, reformatting my piece of shit laptop, hopefully making new friends, and going out every once in a blue moon with one of my true friends. This bunch of random boringness shall continue until the school years starts, and all the real excitement kicks in.
We shall see what happens. I'm actually looking forward to it. I hope that some of you,my real friends, are too!
