Beautiful's blog: "Life ain't always beautiful; but it's a beautiful ride."

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Well, to day seems as if it has been 48 hours long...LOL On the bright side, my antidepressants have kicked into 5th gear and I am SOOOO good to go! I feel like I am on finally on the open highway after being stuck in the back woods for over a year! Its so good to be back! I feel like I am finally getting it all together and I can actually do more than one thing at a time! The kids seem to be a little more livlier than they have been the past couple days. It has barely rained; I think we are officially in a drought! I keep watering my poor little flowers and I think I am fighting a losing battle though. Poor things! My dad is feeling better today; he went to the Dr. yesterday here; and he put my dad on an insulin pill to control his sugar levels. Now that that is nearly fixed, we just need to get him to eat... LOL anyone got any suggestions on how to get a 69 yr. old to eat? We have to get him strong enough to start his chemo in 2 weeks! That is all for today... Hope you guys are doing great! Hugs, Lori

Hi Everyone, Its me again with another update. I wanted to let you all know that I have posted a payment for the deductible he was not able to pay when he went into the hospital for the amount of $550.00 from the funds that have been donated so far, leaving a balance of $96.51. I was able to use the paypal debit card I have so it was easily done. I talked with my dad today, he reported that he received another bill; this time from Johns Hopkins in the amount of $38,000.00 plus the $1,000.00 bill that they have already received. They only have $200.00 to last them for the rest of the month, and most of that was spent up when I took my mom to the store the other day to get some needed groceries, my dad's medicine and a blood glucose monitor. Because my dad has apparently developed Diabetes due to the surgery he had to have on his pancreas. He is currently on a pill to help control his levels. I want to thank you all for the help you have provided so far. If I can possibly manage to do so, I will get ahold of his bills to scan to show you. This is getting hard for him. He has never owed this much money in his life. So the numbers are scaring him; he is afraid of losing everything he has. But I try to assure him that it won't come to that. He wanted me to make sure that You all got this message: "I want to thank you all for what you have donated to me. There are not enough words to tell you how much I deeply appreciate it. I am praying that God will richly bless each and everyone that has donated money, said prayers or sent cards. Thank you from the bottom of my heart." I know that he means every word. He is still having problems with eating. His digestive system is still not working like it should. Like my sister posted in the previous update; he has gone from 215 pounds down to 178 pounds. Donations are still being accepted through paypal. You can send money to lmidkiff@zoominternet.net I also talked with the billing coordinator at Johns Hopkins just a few moments ago and she has provided me an address to which you can also make payments incase you are not comfortable using Paypal. Here is that information: Johns Hopkins Hospital Harvey 114 600 N. Wolfe Street Baltimore, MD 21287-8108 ATTN: Joan Sutton His name is Paul Thompson and his Patient account # 206254195 Thank you all for taking the time to read all these updates. Things for me haven't been running so smoothly in my life lately. But it will all work out. Thank you for your thoughts and prayers! God Bless you all, Lori

First let me start off with saying: YOU ARE ALL AWESOMELY WONDERFUL!!!!!!!! YOUR PRAYERS ARE WORKING! YOUR FAITH IS CONSTANT AND UNWAVERING AND I AM SO GRATEFUL, HONORED AND BLESSED TO CALL YOU ALL MY FRIENDS! Now on to the news! Today my dad had an appointment with his Dr. He called as soon as he got home and made me put it on speaker phone so all my kids could hear too. He called to report that his team of Dr.s told him that they are almost positively certain that the series of Chemo, Radiation, and Genocibine treatments are going to be 100% successful. They believe this because they have confirmed by more recent biopsy reports that: States dad has ampullary voder cancer actually 2 lymph nodes out of 13 "better prognosis than pancreatic cancer" "rare cancer and dont have a lot of statistics about it yet" "only 20% of people who have it are able to have surgery..and you're already in that top 20%" ...so very positive... The Dr. also told him that once they are finished he was going to live to be a very old man after this unless the sky fell on him!!!!! He did tell Dad that the cost of everything was going to be in the thousands. He just wanted my dad to be prepared because he knows that that is my dad's MAIN worry! He is so scared of having to put his house up to pay for all this! I wish he didn't have such a worry and burden on his hands. So that is what we need to pray on next! We need to pray that the Lord Almighty will help to ease the worry and burden from my dad's mind so that he can start focusing on getting well. I love you all! I HONESTLY mean that from the bottom of my heart! You are all truly the best! Much Love and Many Blessings, Lori

You know there is something to be said for " there is power in those that pray in numbers". Last night, they pulled the tube out of my dad that was collecting all the drainage. The Dr. came in this morning and told him that he looked a lot stronger and he wanted to release him to go back to the hotel. He still has to stay around the area for a while to make sure there are going to be no problems; but atleast he gets to get out of that hospital bed. He has been there for a month now. He is going to then be sent home. He has decided that he missed home so much that he wants to take his initial 6 chemotherapy treatments here at home; because the Dr. said that he would get the same standard treatment with those anywhere because there were certain guidlines that they have to follow. Then he will Go and take the rest of the treatments (28 of them) in North Carolina at Duke University. I can not even begin to tell you how mentally draining all this has been on us all. I find myself getting tired for no reason these days; I guess it is my body's way of telling me to slow down a bit. I have not recieved any more donations today; so there is nothing new there to report. The latest screenshot from my paypal account reflects the current donation standings. I know that my dad is very happy about that. Ofcourse, he already has that money spent on the $550.00 copay that his medicare required him to pay when he was first put in; but he didn't have the extra money at the time and they told him they would just bill him. Lord KNOWS how much a month at Johns Hopkins is going to cost.... Anyway, I am pretty tired tonight. Yesterday, I took the kids to the lake to go swimming and the ALL got burnt! But it was such great fun watching them play; then we had a picnic. Wasn't much ya know; but to kids, it doesn't take a whole lot. Just knowing their parents are there and things are good in their world is enough. Thank you all for your time in listening and talking with me. I especially thank you all for taking the time to get to know my family. I know that they all love you. My kids even know what you all are doing. Everyday, they come and ask me how much money has been donated to their papaw. So they understand what you all are doing is a gift. And I am so thankful to share this with my kids. I think it is a lesson they will never forget. I know that your all love and kindness is going to spill over to them; because one day they are going to look back on this and become a gift giver too because of your kindness you have bestowed upon their papaw. So please know that what you are doing now, will not be forgotten. You will all be remembered in the minds and hearts of my children and you in turn are paving the way so they become gracious gift givers such as your self. If you would like to give a gift in the form of a donation please click this link: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_xclick&business=lmidkiff%40zoominternet%2enet&item_name=Paul%20Thompson%20Cancer%20Fund&no_shipping=0&no_note=1&tax=0¤cy_code=USD&lc=US&bn=PP%2dDonationsBF&charset=UTF%2d8 If you can not afford even $1, then please pass this information along. Or send a letter to my father using the same email address. I assure you that every dollar and every letter will reach him! Thank you so much for your loving hearts! Much Love and Many Blessings, Lori

I talked to dad tonight; and he seemed to be really tired. He had just gotten in from walking when I had called. I called him because my 2 babies (ages 5 &6- they will always be my babies..*smiles) were asking about their papaw cause we were looking at pictures of him; as we have done most nights since he left. And my daughter Hannah looked up at me with a most sad and somber look and said, "I sure wish my pappy could come home because I miss him so much and I want to hear him sing to me." So, being the mom I am, I called so they could talk to him before their bed time. I could hear in his voice how tired he was; but he still made the effort for them. And they laughed and talked all together over speaker phone; but you could still tell they missed him holding them. This is the longest that they have gone with out seeing him. I did find out from his Oncologist that he is going to have to have 6 weeks of Chemotherapy treatments in one area, then one month off. Then he will resume with an additional 28 weeks of Chemo/radiation + gencinobide treatments. He is not looking forward to this. He knows that this is where he is going to start running into money. The oncologist they want him to go to is at Duke University medical center. So he will have to go to yet another state. We already know full well the expenses of the chemo; because it has not been all that long ago that my 23 year old neice was diagnosed with cancer. One shot was $1800.00 and insurance only covered $1000.00 of it. Which we are all thankful at the time she was still on her dad's insurance where she was a student. Yet, that is not the only cases of cancer we have seen. Just with in the last few years; there has been 13 families that we can count that has ended up with cancer all with in a 3 mile stretch of road. So I am beginning to wonder if something is up. We have only recently found out that there have been 100 gas wells drilled out around that area. But no one will listen to us or the statistics. *Sigh..... Anyway, I will close for the night. Please remember to pass along the donation information. My dad continues to be ever so grateful, and he sends his thanks, love and prayers to all of you tonight. Until Tomorrow, Lori

It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter to you all. I am sure that everyone is aware of my dad's most recent surgery. For those that don't, here is a brief summary of what has been going on with me and my family. My dad was diagnosed with Ampullary Carcinoma, a very rare cancer that the Dr.s at Johns Hopkins were very positive about the treatment with surgery by doing a procedure called the Whipple procedure or a Whipple Resection. Below is a diagram of what is involved in that: This is a picture of your normal anatomy and the way things are supposed to be hooked up and working. In this illustration they are missing the liver; which also had a pie shaped piece removed from it. The only difference between that picture and my dad is the tumor was in the ampullary duct, also known as the ampula. But this procedure was the ONLY cure for it still yet. Below is a picture of his anatomy now, all hooked up differently due to the Whipple procedure: He had his surgery nearly 2 weeks ago, and the Dr. Said that everything went beautifully and that it was a success. And we were due to take my father home 10 days later. Well, during the surgery they also performed a lymph node extraction process; this allows them to take out any lymph that could have possibly been at risk; during a routine analysis of the lymph they discovered that two of the ten lymph nodes they took out had cancer that had spread to them. Meaning the cancer had already spilled over into his liver. Now keep in mind that the amullary carcinoma is a very slow growing cancer; but the cancer that had developed into his liver is a much more aggressive form. The Dr was still hopeful that it was in an early treatable stage with Chemotherapy and radiation. But he has to wait an additional 3 weeks to allow his body more time to heal from the whipple. Because studies have shown that chemotherapy is more effective waiting until the body is healed rather than proceding right away; due to the body already still in a state of shock from the invasiveness of the whipple. Just yesterday, We learned that it is already in a Stage 3. For those that know nothing of cancer stages there are only 4 stages. My father is already getting very down in spirit. And frankly so am I, it seems like no good news comes from this. You all have to imagine the shock I had from even learning my father was sick at all. Here he was a healthy 69 year old, still tending actively to his 30 acres of land everyday. An active minister in his church. Nothing seemed wrong. He was not sick, he was not in pain. Nothing was wrong! So I am taking all of this very very hard. As my dad has been the rock in my life for everything. And it seems like everyday my mind is flooded with memories of him and I. I mean it is memories that are rushing into my head so fast and one right after another. There is nothing that I can do in a day to escape it; because everything I am he taught me, everythign I do he taught me. My lightheartedness, my giving nature, my sense of humor, everything right down to the last cell in my body my father has had something to do with in my life. You all have to know that he is the STRONGEST man that I know. He has survived numerous near death experiences, his latest being 10 years ago when the ATV he was driving went over a 50 foot cliff and his whole entire head being forced into a creek bed formed of nothing but solid rock. After all that My father still had the strength and the will to walk 3/4 of a mile home with his eye completely blown out of its socket from the impact, half of his face crushed and sliced open. A broken arm and wrist, and a broken foot. All of this and he walks home. Not down a road, but through his pasture and through a creek up a hill and through our yard. My mother found him sitting in our porch swing. So all of this he is still here. I am having so much trouble understanding things now. I am feeling so much anger and sadness. I am slowly watching and hearing about my hero struggle with cancer. I am having to deal with the thought that he may be dying. I am not dealing with any of this well at all. I am still trying to fight off this bout of clinical depression that still keeps lingering about. And it is all so much for me to handle. I am sending out a plea to you all for favors, for prayers, for blessings beyond compare to find its way to our family for some peace. It isn't like me at all to ask you all for anything at all, but I am needing to ask you all for a couple of favors. The first being can you all please start sending my dad mountains of letters and cards. Just to let him know that you all are thinking and praying for him. He is slowly giving in to the fact that something may have beat him this time; and we can NOT have these thoughts running through his mind at this point. He needs so much uplifting and thoughts right now. So, his address to send him all this to is: Paul Thompson The Johns Hopkins Marburg Pavillion 600 N. Wolfe Street Room 332 Baltimore MD 21287 The second thing that I am asking for is donations. UGH I hate asking for this! But they are on their last dime spending all that he had saved for redoing the roof on his house. His medicare we just found out is not going to cover all the medicines that is needed for his Chemotherapy treatments. I just have this heavy burden in my heart to try some way to lighten his load and help in anyway that I can. Donations are also needed for covering food and travel expenses from WV to Baltimore. I know that I can not do this on my own, and that is why I have the love of my cyber friends. I don't expect huge amounts from anyone, but a dollar here and a few dollars there will add up. None of this I am asking for myself; but for that of my dad! Currently, I have a paypal account that can accept payments. The email address to send any payments to is: lmidkiff@zoominternet.net Or click this link to make a direct payment: https://www.paypal.com/cgi-bin/webscr?cmd=_xclick&business=lmidkiff%40zoominternet%2enet&item_name=Paul%20Thompson%20Cancer%20Fund&no_shipping=0&no_note=1&tax=0¤cy_code=USD&lc=US&bn=PP%2dDonationsBF&charset=UTF%2d8 Any amount that you can spare would be helpful. As I said, I hate to do this. It is unlike me at all to put myself out there and ask for anything; but again, its my father we are talking about and I would die for him if I could because I know that is what he would do for me. I will end this very Long LONG letter now with How much I love you all, and just because I am silent now doesn't mean that I have forgotten any one of you, I just have a lot going on in my life that is overwhelming my simple mind. I love you, Love, Lori

To all My new friends! I wanted to write and let you know that I am truly moved by the generosity that I have been witnessing. I just talked to my dad, and I feel like I have openly invited everyone in to my home situation and I have a responsibility to let you all know what is going on. I know from previous experience that I have seen others asking for donations and you never hear from them again, and I do not want this to be like that. So in light of that, I spoke to my dad today, I was kind of hesitant at first about telling him about the funds I had set up for him at this point because you must understand my dad has never taken or asked for anything in his life. He has a lot of pride and feels like he should provide for the things that he needs in this life with out relying on others to help him. And this is the one thing that I admire him for. Anyway, as I spoke to him I told him about the funds, because he had mentioned to me that he talked to mom last night and told her they may very well have to put their house up to pay for all of this because he knows that even his part of medicare that he is responsible for is way beyond his means. They are living on a fixed income and he is disabled. Even though he is a minister, he receives no payment or salary from his church because he feels as if that isn't right. So their income is very fixed. The monies that they are using now is all money that my dad has worked for weeks hauling in junk metal and old car parts to help them put a new roof on their house. And when they found out about my dad he suddenly looked over to my mom and said, "well I guess we aren't going to get that new roof now." Housing is costing them $1400.00 a month in Baltimore, and that is a special reduced Johns Hopkins rate. That is not including their food, and what have you. When I say they, I am referring to my mom, and my older sister. My dad needs help every day, so the only option they had was for them to go. The rest of my siblings all have small children & jobs. I was blessed to be able to go up there for the first week, but I have not been able to go since even though he has called crying wanting me there. I have my own family of 5 children, and the funds just aren't there either. That is why i decided that even though I couldn't be there to help, I could help from here by doing all I could to help raise money for them. You have to know that I can not allow my dad to put up his home that he built himself from the ground up. His whole life is in that 30 acre farm; and every bit of blood, tears and sweat has been put there. That is where I was born and still go to. My father sent a very special message to you all! He said this, " I can not imagine you all wanting to help me when you have never met me, but I thank you all for even the prayers that you are praying." He also said that he knows that even if he never gets to meet you here in the physical life that he just knows he will have the opportunity to meet you all in the spiritual life and he can not wait to shake every one of your hands and hug you all for your love and support that you are giving him. So with tears in his eyes, He sends you all his love and he said he is praying for each of you as well."