My Happy Ending
by Avril Lavigne
So much for my happy ending
oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
Let's talk this over
It's not like we're dead
Was it something I did?
Was it something you said?
Dont leave me hanging
In a city so dead
Held up so high
On such a breakable thread
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything I ever wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
You've got your dumb friends
I know what they say
They tell you I'm difficult
But so are they
But they don't know me
Do they even know you?
All the things that you hide from me
All the shit that you do
You were all the things I thought I knew
And I thought we could be
You were everything, everything I ever wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
It's nice to know that you were there
Thanks for acting like you cared
And making me feel like I was the only one
It's nice to know we had it all
Thanks for watching as I fall
And letting me know we were done
You were everything, everything I ever wanted
We were meant to be, supposed to be, but we lost it
And all the memories, so close to me, just fade away
All this time you were pretending
So much for my happy ending
Oh oh, oh oh, oh oh...
So much for my happy ending...
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The preceding song inspired this newest to the addition of blogs of the days of my life.. This song definitely fits my life these last few months.. Technically I guess according to him, it has fit from the very beginning.. The whole marriage, everything has been nothing more than a sham.. Convenience? Pretty much, yup.. I was there from day one doing EVERYTHING for him and it was NEVER enough.. I did more for this man than I've done for any other man my entire life.. Some things that I always swore I'd never do for a man.. Still and yet, I did them anyway because I thought it made him happy.. No matter how hard things got or how rough the road of life was, I still pushed forward trying to hold everything together because that's what marriage is all about right? For better, for worse, for richer or poorer, in good times and in bad.... I held true to my vows and when I said them meant every single word of them only to find out a little over a year down the road that he only did it because he felt forced into it and it was the right thing for him to do for his children.. Nevermind the fact, he had me completely snowballed into believing that he truly loved me with every bit of his heart and soul and that I was his one and only true love and we'd spend the rest of our lives as husband and wife.. Now here I sit a little over a year later writing this blog to say goodbye to my marriage and to life as I've known it for the last four, almost five years.. Although he swears there's no one else, I'm not stupid.. I know his "friendship" with her has gone far beyond the boundaries of friendship.. That's neither here nor there though.. No matter how far the relationship has progressed, I've been hurt more than enough for 10 lifetimes by him over the last few months.. The only way to end the constant reminder of the pain and begin to heal my heart is to say goodbye to everything I thought we had and move on into my future never looking back.. He's made it abundantly clear this is what he wants.. He no longer wants to be tied down to me or his family, so it's time to say goodbye.. Although I know I'll never cut ties completely with him bc we do have 2 children together, I can close that portion of my heart so that he can't get in anymore to hurt me.. I've always heard everything happens for a reason.. Well, for the sake of my sanity here, will someone please tell me what the reason could possibly be for this total turnaround of my life? It's time to concentrate on me and making things in my entire life better as well as making myself better overall.. I do want to say thank you to a few special friends who have been here through all this bs with me though.. Without you, there's no telling where I'd be.. You know who you are.. On that note, my best friend, Phoenix, came up with an ending for this blog and it fits absolutely perfectly... At the end of the day when I am left all alone staring into the sunset, I realize that the only person that matters in this world is me and from now on I am The Only One That Matters!
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