A father passing by his son's bedroom was astonished to see the bed nicely made up and everything neat and tidy. Then he saw an envelope propped up on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad". Fearing the worst, he opened the envelope with trembling hands and read the letter:
Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom. I've found real passion with Joan and she is really a good person. I knew you wouldn't approve of her because of all her piercings, tattoos, and her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am but it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant. Joan says that we are going to be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood, enough for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Joan has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we can use. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Joan can get better; she sure deserves it! Don't worry Dad. I'm 15 years old now and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Your son,
Chad
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommys house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my desk drawer. I love you! Call when it's safe for me to come home.
