Dear Wife,
>
>I'm writing you this letter to tell you that I'm leaving you for good.
> I've been a good man to you for seven years and I have nothing to show
> for it.
>
> These last two weeks have been hell. Your boss called to tell me that
> you had quit your job today and that was the last straw.
>
> Last week, you came home and didn't even notice that I had gotten a new
> hair cut, cooked your favorite meal and even wore a brand new pair of
silk
> boxers. You came home and ate in two minutes and went straight to bed
>after
> watching all of your soaps.
>
> You don't tell me you love me anymore. You don't want sex anymore or
> anything, either your cheating on me or you don't love me anymore, what
> ever the cause I'm gone.
>
> Your Ex-Husband
>
> P.S. Don't try to find me...I already purchased a fairly new double-wide
>and
>
>your sister and I are moving away to West Virginia together...Have a great
>life..
>
>
>
>
>
> Dear Ex-Husband,
>
> Nothing has made my day more than receiving your letter. It's true that
> you and I have been married for seven years, although a good man is a
> far cry from what you've been.
>
> I watch my soaps so much because they drown out your constant whining
> and griping. I did notice your hair cut last week, the first thing
> that came to mind was, "Good lord, who the hell cut your hair?" but
>
>my Mother raised me not to say anything if you I can't say something nice.
> And when you cooked my favorite meal, you must have gotten me confused
> with my Sister because I stopped eating pork seven years ago.
>
> I turned away from you when you had those new silk boxers on because
> the price tag was still on them. I prayed that it was a coincidence that
> my sister had borrowed $50.00 from me that morning...and your silk
boxers
> were $49.99.
>
> Despite all of this, I still loved you and felt that we could work it
out.
> So when I discovered that I had hit the lotto for ten million dollars, I
> quit my job and bought two tickets to Jamaica . But when I got home
>
> you were gone
>
> Everything happens for a reason I guess. I hope you have the fulfilling
> life you always wanted.
>
> My lawyer said with your letter that you wrote, you won't get a dime
> from me, So take care.
>
> Signed...Rich as Hell and Free at last.
>
> P.S. I don't know if I ever told you this but Carla, my sister, was born
> Carl. I hope that is not a problem.
