So it's like this. Last night, about 7:30 I get a serious case of the munchies for some nachos with cheese and jalapenos. So I cruise over to the local Speedway where they have a pretty decent setup to pick some up. After assembling a mean set of nachos slathered with hot cheese and piled with little jalapeno slices I start walking to the register. As I'm approaching the counter I see a "lady" coming up along side me carrying an enormous case of Bud Light longnecks.
I'm gonna pause the story here for just a moment to introduce the cast of characters. We'll call the "lady" stupid redneck bitch (srb) for short. Now don't get me wrong. I've got nothing against rednecks in general, some of my favorite relatives are rednecks. In this case "stupid" and "bitch" are the operative detrimental adjectives, redneck is merely there to give you a little better description of her demeanor. Also in this little play we have big ass Harley dude (bahd), The Landscaper (tl), Dude looking for a fuse (dlff) and 2 register monkeys (rm).
So, back to the story srb is coming up behind me carrying a huge case of bee, did not know they make 48 bottle cases of longnecks but that's what this fucking thing looked like, she was pretty scrawny and looked like she was struggling with it. Seeing only one register open I offered to let her go ahead of me. Without any thanks whatsoever she trudges up to the register, in front of me (bahd is back a little ways and sees this). At register 2 tl is arguing with rm2 because he is trying to use one of his customer's credit cards to pay for gas and they won't let him do it and there is a whole manager/owner calling drama playing out there. So register 2 is out of commission.
On register 1 the action begins to heat up with srb and rm1. First she doesn't feel like she should have to show her ID, then she wants 3 cartons of smokes and they only have 2 of her brand, then she wants to know why they don't have the mega jumbo box of regular Bud longnecks and only have the Bud Lights, etc... etc... All I wanted was some fucking nachos.
To my surprise the action on register 2 abruptly ends when tl gives up and walks out. Being next in line immediately think that this is my break. Not so! turns out the entire time I was watching the events unfold on register 1, bahd has been watching register 2 and immediately went over there from behind me in line. This is not typical behavior from most Harley dudes so I was caught a bit offguard.
At any rate I prepare to move jump in behind bahd because he will certainly be faster than srb that now has rm 1 rooting through the "Beer Cave" to find her a bigass box of regular Bud longnecks. Keep in mind up to this point we were in one line for 2 registers. dlff gets pissy with me and accuses me of cutting in front of him. I basically ignore him and go up to the register as soon as bahd is finished. dlff takes it upon himself to jump up next to me while I am trying to pay, makes a snotty remark about me being impatient. And proceeds to interrupt rm2 while he is trying to ring up my order. I have to wait while rm2 describes the assortment of fuses they have and where dlff can find them in the store. Dlff proceeds to argue with him that the fuses aren't really there so, before rm2 is finished ringing me up, he has to go help dlff find his fuses. By this time I'm ready to punch dlff in the nose.
Finally rm2 comes back, finishes ringing me up. At the same time rm1 finishes up with srb, she proceeds to lug the jumbo case of beer out of the store making a big scene about how heavy it is. I still have just enough civility left in me to hold the door open for her, and I get a dirty look (apparently I was expected to carry the case of beer out for her). I go to my car, near hers, I hear her comment to her fatass lazy huband/boyfriend SITTING IN THEIR PICKUP TRUCK, that people are so fucking inconsiderate today. I get to drive home with my 1/2 hour old soggy cold nachos and a nice side of THOROUGHLY PISSED OFF.
The moral of this story kids is that... No good deed goes unpunished.
