mandylu's blog: "funny jokes"

Ralph came home drunk one night, slid into bed beside his sleeping wife, and
fell into a deep slumber.

He awoke before the Pearly Gates, where St. Peter said, 'You died in your sleep,
Ralph..'

Ralph was stunned.. 'I'm dead? No, I can't be! I've got too much to live for. Send me back!'

St. Peter said, 'I'm sorry, but there's only one way you can go back, and that
is as a chicken.'

Ralph was devastated, but begged St. Peter to send him to a farm near his home..
The next thing he knew, he was covered with feathers, clucking, and pecking the
ground.

A rooster strolled past. 'So, you're the new hen, huh? How's your first day
here?'

'Not bad, replied Ralph the hen, but I have this strange feeling inside. Like
I'm gonna explode!'

'You're ovulating,' explained the rooster. 'Don't tell me you've never laid an
egg before? '

'Never,' said Ralph.

'Well, just relax and let it happen,' says the rooster. 'It's no big deal.'

Ralph did, and a few uncomfortable seconds later, out popped an egg!

Ralph was overcome with emotion as he experienced motherhood. He soon
laid another egg -- his joy was overwhelming.

As he was about to lay his third egg, he felt a smack on the back of his head,
and heard his wife yell.....Ralph! Wake up. You sh!t the bed!'