ok so i never write in these things because i dont think i have anything important to say, But im sure some of you wonder what is actually happening on my part, and i dont think i filled out my "about me" section very well.
Im working two jobs right now. During the day, i work in a grocery store, in the deli department. its an easy slack job, apart from construction and all. I enjoy the ppl and its alot better than my second job, which is a security guard, I make home made meals and have a good time, right now theres alot going on at work, besides the ppl that work there who have no idea how to run the store, id like to quit but i only have afew months left. I patrol a building that used to be an old residential school turned into a first nation college. goto google.com n look up RCCC n youll get an image of the place i work in. kind of spooky yes, although i spend most of my time in the basement with my 360 or else im in the computer lap conversing or playing texas hold'em online. the only part of the building thats "haunted" is the second level, usually hear children running down the halls and see bright lights floating around. doesnt bother me much or at all, considering iv been exposed to this kinda stuff my whole life. now the area i live in is farm country and its not the kinda place you wanna live in if you happen to be in my position or situation. from what iv witnessed, you must choose your friends wisely and at all times be careful what you say out in the open. theres a lot of drama and politics in the area. somehow i always get involved and i hate it lol. most of my friends are all married and having kids and moving on. Im 24, single and no kids. for me and where i live, thats pretty impressive lol. among my friends im one of 3, but see my thing is, i gotta establish myself b4 i move on in anyway. I plan on moving to calgary in jan and get a great job and maybe start dating, i just, for the most part, wanna get outta here. Another thing that has happened to me, my parents are now divorced. i still think about how they used to tell me, when they were together, that i should be thankful they are still together, and not like most ppl whos parents are divorced, how thier bond will never be severed and how much love they are in. this of course is a lie. one of the parents in the family was cheating on the other for the past 5 years. whats worse, im the one they both came to, while my brother and sister didnt find out till 3 months later. i sort of blame myself, and i know i shouldnt. i kind of knew this was coming and tried as many times as i could to prepare myself, i was mad at first, but now i look at it and use my logic and reason. I kind of think it was good for them. my dad is now dating someone else and is the happiest iv EVER seen him. my mom is doing things shes always wanted to do and we also get along better than we used to in the past.
now when it comes to love life, iv had a very fucked up past. iv been engaged three times and been to the alter once. just about every relationship iv been fucked over somehow, now i dont view relationships or love in a negative way, but i believe now that things just arent what they used to be like. Im very closed in, and dont let many into that part where they want to be more than just friends. I can feel auras and almost see them, so i can tell if she is capable of cheating or doing something negative to me. frankly, id have to say im just afraid of being hurt. im afraid if i shed my armor ill be vulnerable for an attack that could possibly shut me away for another long period of time, which is another thing about me: it will take a very long time to get close to me or passionate with me...i used to fall pretty easy, but now..its alot harder for me to become closer...sex is no problem, i love sex, but passionate sex is something im just not soo good at despite my own well-being. im a great guy to be around and will make you feel welcome and secure, i show all the support i can for anyone and like to suggest constructive critism just to keep you on your toes. sometimes i may come off creepy, but im just THAT friendly with everyone lmao. i have a crazy "kid that gets excited because he gets to play in the sand" kind of personality, most wouldnt expect it from a guy with an athletic/bulky build and 6'5. its kinda scary, but thats just me. I open to everything and anything. im really just looking for new friends, but selective friends.
there you have it...now i will probably update every week on this, just so everyone on my list gets to know me alil more.
