My Moron Mama visited me today while I was taking a nap. She tole me some new things that freaked me out. More of those crazy dreams. But I believe they are the real deal. It would explain some things. Like, why is a 46 year old man still addicted to sex..? I mean, I should be slowing down. Not so, according to mama. She claims Moron Men only reach their sexual peak at age 55. Damn! I still have a ways to go before I peak.
Mama called me a Lust Varmit. I have been called worse names. She asked me why I found some women so wild about me and other women would not give me the time of day..?
I said, "Human Nature?"
Nope! Not according to mama. I have a horny fluid within my body that some women cannot resist. One touch of my skin will make some earth women want me, while others will have no response to it. But thar is a part in my Moron half that feeds off the lusty desires of women. I need sex to stay alive. Weird stuff! Mama sez, "The women who have sex with you will always have a love fer you! They cannot resist your call."
Sheesh! What a power to have! And to think... I thought I was just lucky!
But one thing I will be careful about... Is who I shake hands with of the female species.
Hmmm... Remind me not to shake hands with ugly women.
