First, let me say I am okay. Not great, but okay.
Friday night Matt (my husband) and I where waiting in line to get our papers for the route... I was sleeping, but suddenly woke up. A few hours before I had a slight asthma attack but nothing major. I controlled it with a breathing treamtment. ...But this... this was going down hill... So we got our papers and Matt folded them. On our way to our route, I was getting worse not better, so Matt turned around and got the power inverter and the machine so I could take a breathing treatment in the car.
We were on Highway 395 when I started having horrible chest pains... now let me tell you ahead of time... I have an enlarged heart. That was discovered after my Grand Mal Seizure when I was 12. ...The treatment wasnt cutting it and as Matt turned down Main Street, things went from bad to worse. He sped down Main and cut over to Hesperia Road in an attempt to take me to St. Mary's, but half way down Hesperia Road I told him my chest was hurting worse than ever and it was something more than lack of oxygen. Then I told him I'm not making it to Apple Valley....St. Mary's was too far... to take me to Desert Valley, which I knew was only a few blocks up. Matt went 80 MPH down Hesperia Road, than ran a red light and pulled me up to Desert Valley ER enterence.
I couldnt get out of the car. And Matt went banging on the enterence doors. Finally a male nurse came out, said "Okay let me get a wheel chair" and I started yelling "NOOO!!!!!!!! I NEED oxygen NOW!" but the fucknut got the chair anyway. Than stood over me to observe me for a good few minutes wondering how light I am. Finally Matt pushed him out of the way and got me to the chair. The nurse told Matt to move our car. Fine, he did.
I was wheeled in and left in a corner for a good 5-7 minutes while the nurse went to go do whatever, than finally set me up with an oxygen treatment. ...Now, mind you, I kept telling them "I'm going to pass out!" but no one listened to me. After the treatment was almost gone, I was still not breathing right, and the nurse asked me how I was and I repeated "I'm gonna pass out!!!!" ...I passed out.
Matt told me, they wouldnt let him back for 30 minutes, but said I wasnt doing good at all. By 3:30 am I started having seizures, which lasted until 7:00 am. I was put on life support, than after some time, I was transfered to Kaiser.
In between all of this, my family and friends all got together. Every one was pretty sure this was it for me because the last time this happened I was 12 and I almost lost the battle.
I will tell you right now, part of me wanted to let go. But I couldnt leave my baby girl. I couldnt.
I woke up and started crying. I knew I was on life support, I knew I had nearly died again, I wanted to see my girl and knew I couldnt. I knew I was at Kaiser.
Come to find out Desert Valley thought I might've had a heart attack. They never gave me or Kaiser anything on the tests they ran. They didnt go through with a lot of what they should have, so in 2 weeks I have to give full documentation of my account of it all and go through tests so Kaiser has it all documented.
I am feeling the affects of the seizures. The same affects with spelling and such that I had when I was 12 is all coming back again. I have to tell VVC and give them documents just in case I relapse with the problems I faced when I was 12.
I've been knocking on Heaven's Gate for 20 years now...but God keeps turning me away. He's not ready for me yet....even when I feel like giving up. And this is the first time in 20 years I have ever felt like giving up. 20 years, in and out of the hospital...and this was nothing like I have felt before.
I just hope I get some answers. I need answers. I'm on new medications, so hopefully these work. I also got a new specialist.
