scoot, scoot along the carpet you big fat cat. clean your poopy butt the only way you can. you are a disgrace to your species. if you could bend your blubbery neck down around your grotesquely protruded abdomen, you wouldn't have to try so hard to scrape your sphincter against those scotch-guarded fibers, or leave those brown streaks behind you. go eat you food you piece of crap.
