its now been a year since i put my beloved kitty Kissy kat to sleep. i miss her so, and think of her often. hearts bring her to mind. when she was sick all i could think of were hearts. perhaps due to the recent valentines day but more so because she was such a sweet kitty, meant to be a momma but never was. i miss her laying on my leg without the assistance of her paws..just plain old flat belly laying. my other kitty misses her as well. still smells traces of her scent in things, and looks around wondering where her sister ran off to all this time.
ive never felt the loss of someone close to me. it was quite the ordeal and lasted for months until March 1st. i noticed she was skinnier, but i wa stold she was just old.. then i notice dthe constant meowing..crying..and then i saw her fall over backwards while throwing up. it was the saddest thing ive ever seen. the process of her slowly losing herself. we had to feed her like a baby and rock her to sleep. i remember the night where it seems she gave her final goodbyes to use.. sniffing everything, getting in our faces and licking our noses..one last smell of what she knew. i should have paid more attention to her and i feel bad for being gone so long all the time. i feel bad for Bouba cat now, still.
she became worse after the pills the first vet gave me for her.. she never had the problem they said she did.i lost my job at the time from dealing with all this. and nearly walked into traffic on a daily basis. i should have just held her close instead of taking her scared to the animal doctor. we finally took her to another place. but took her backl again shortly after. i saw the injection and held her close whispering close in her ear. she had tears in her eyes and i could see her going.. she was injected one last time and let out her final cry until her tail just went limp in my hands. i should remember her in her sweet pudgy state.. always my mommas kitty..always looking and growling at the birds outside.. the way shed lay on her back and id pet her belly.. and how shed get pissed when anyone else would get more love from my mom, instead of her.
i miss my sweet kitty.. times have changed so much since her passing.
i know that she is somewhere beautiful.
<3<3<3
xoxoxo kisses s. kat. xoxoxo
