KIDS
By
Calvin"ColdWarrior"Harrington
[Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman)
And everyone should get along..
Okay children quiet down, quiet down
Children I'd like to introduce our new substitute teacher for the day
His name is Mr. Grady
Children quiet down please
Brian don't throw that (SHUT UP!)
Mr. Grady will be your new substitute
while Vince Mcmahon is out with pneumonia (HE GOT BLOWN UP!)
Good luck Mr. Grady
[ColdWarrior]
Hi there little boys and girls (SCREW YOU!)
Today we're gonna to learn how to poison squirrels
But first, I'd like you to meet my friend Bob (Huh?)
Say hi Bob! ("Hi Bob") Bob's 20 and still lives with his mom
and he don't got a job, cause Bob sits at home and smokes pot
but his ten-year old brother looks up to him an awful lot
And Bob likes to hang out at the local strip spot
and wait in the parkin lot for strippers off the clock
when it's late and the lot gets dark and fake like he walks his dog
Drag 'em in the woods and go straight to the chopping blocks (AHH!)
And even if they escaped theywould call the cops
the ladies would all be so afraid, they would drop the charge
'til one night Jenna Jameson went off the job
when she felt someone grab her whole face and said not to talk
But Jenna knew it was Bob and said knock it off
But Bob wouldn't knock it off cause he's crazy and off his rocker
Crazier than Grim Grady is off the vodka
You couldn't even take him to Dre's to get Bob a "Dr."
He grabbed 'Jen' by the legs as chopped it off her
and dropped her off in the lake for the cops to find her
But ever since the day Jenna went off to wander
they never found her, now Bob hangs out at the waffle diner
And that's the story of Bob and his marijuana,
and what it might do to you
So see if the squirrels want any - it's bad for you
Chorus: Mr. Mackey (Coldwarrior)
See children, whores are bahhhd (c'mon)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (ask him man)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (that's right)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to whores (that's right)
Or you'll get AIDS like everyone else does (uh-huh)
Then there's really nothin else to say (sing along)
Whores are just bad, mmm'kay?
[ColdWarrior]
A pornstar's brain is the size of a peanut, have you seen it?
Hell NO you ain't seen it, it's the size of a peanut (Huh?)
Speakin of peanuts, you know what else is bad for squirrels?
Hookers are the worst whores in the world
If someone ever offers one to you, don't do'em
Kids two whores will probably drain all your spinal fluid
and spinal fluid is final, you won't get it back
So don't get attached, it'll attack every bone in your back
Meet Zach, twenty-one years old
After hangin out with some friends at a frat party, he gets bold
and decides to do five, when he's bribed by five guys
and peer pressure will win every time you try to fight it
Suddenly, he starts to convulse and his pulse goes into hyperdrive
and his eyes roll back in his skull {*blblblblblb*}
His back starts tah - look like the McDonald's Arches
He's on his homies carpet, layin horizontal barfin {*BLEH*}
And everyone in the apartment starts laughin at him
"yo dude, Zach is a asswhip, look at him!"
cause they did'em too, so they think it's funny
So they're laughing at basically nothing except maybe wasting his money
Meanwhile, Zach's in a coma, the action is over
and his back and his shoulders hunched up like he's practicin yoga
And that's the story of Zach,a street hooker maniac. So don't even give hookers to the squirrels class, cause it's bad for you
Chorus: Mr. Mackey (ColdWarrior)
See children, whores are bahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (that's right)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (she will)
So kids say no to whores (read porn)
Or you'll get AIDS like everyone else does (that's right)
And there's really nothin else to say (but umm)
Whores are just bad, mmm'kay?
[ColdWarrior]
And last but not least, one of the most humungous
problems among pornstars today, is fungus
It grows from cow manure, they pick it out, wipe it off,
bag it up, and you put it right in your mouth and chew it
Yum yum! Then you start to see some dumb stuff
And everything slows down when you eat some of 'em..
And sometimes you see things that aren't there (Like what?)
Like Asia Carrera with freaky orange hair
(Mr. Grady Who's Asia Carrera?) She's a whore Claire
She's a socialpobic tramp who tends to scare alot of people
(Huh?)
And if you swallow too much of the magic mushrooms
Whoops, did I say magic mushrooms? I meant fungus
Ya tongue gets, all swoll up like a cow's tongue (How come?)
cause it comes from a cow's dung (Gross!!)
See whores are bad, it's a common fact
But your mom and dad, know that's all that She's good at (Oh!)
But don't be her, cause if you grow up and you go and get HIV
They're gonna come for her and She may have to grow a goatee
and get a disguise and hide, cause it'll be her fault
So don't do whores, and girls do exactly as she don't,cause she's bad for you
Chorus: Mr. Mackey (ColdWarrior)
See children, whoress are bahhhd (uh-huh)
and if you don't believe me, ask ya dahhhd (put that down)
and if you don't believe him, ask ya mom (you can ask)
She'll tell you how she does 'em all the time (and she will)
So kids say no to whoress (say ho)
Or you'll get AIDS like everyone else does (like she do)
And there's really nothin else to say (that's right)
Whores are just bad, mmm'kay?
[Mr. Mackey] (Eric Cartman)
Come on children, clap along (SHUT UP!)
Sing along children (Eat my motherfuckin shorts!)
Whores are just bad, whores are just bad (South Park is gonna sue me!)
So don't do those whores (Eat my motherfuckin shorts!)
so there'll be more for me (Hippie! God damnit!)
(Hookers killed Kenny! *fart* Ewww, ahhh!)
(So, fucked up, right now..)
