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and whatever else is going around....like SARS, Bird Flu, That Jiffy Peanut Butter shit, Commin down off a fucked up ecstacy roll, meth binge....whatever..... anyways.... One of my myspace friends happens to be a little under the weather..... so just like any good "friend" would do.... I gave her one of those good old Big Momma nem....Hernando Ms......I got Indian in my family........sweet tater pie with a rutabaga casserole....you'll feel betta damorra...(tomorrow)....pour some rubitussin on it remedies..... now while this hasnt been approved by any medical society of doctors or any health care professionals period.... THIS HERE SHYT WORX!!! fa real, fa real..... so I suggest trying this...only if you feel like total pure dee shyt (and shyt is a relative term).....cuz shit you will.....and plenty of it.... this is gonna sound like a weird remedy....but i promise you it works.... get totally shitfaced drunk (AT HOME)...(ALONE) with a drink that you normally dont drink.... (Im a whisky dude) and vodka/gin/rum doesnt scare me thanks to my college years in new orleans.... so the bane of my existence is.... you guessed it....Jaegermeister (ugh.) just thinking about it makes me sick..... if you like jaeger....which many white chix/guys do....black folx aint touchin that shyt.....Hennessy....what? .....Nikka?.... pick something else....like whisky (what i drink - but you probably dont) now....... normally if I catch a hot chick that likes whisky or bourbon....Id probably hit on ya.....cuz that is hawt to me.... and it means we can get fucked up together.... but the average chick...dont fuck with dark liquor....unless shes A) a drankuh....not drinker....but DRANKUH.....meaning she knows what the hell shes doing....and vodka/redbull is for pussies B) A Black Woman....cuz thats what her Uncle Charles n nem drank..... C) an ALCOHOLIC.....which this remedy probably wouldnt work for anyway..... but i got something even the most Iron Bellied alcoholic could use.... ****discalaimer**** regular folk....just pick some shit you dont normally drink....cuz if you pick something you like....you wont get fucked up as quick..... anyways... go ever clear...130 proof Grain Alcohol.....nobody likes that shit...... drink up....no mix.....no chaser (unless you just cant help it) and if you do....chase it with something like milk.....or prune juice..... then.... then take a laxative..... (my grandmother suggests Castor Oil or Epsom Salt) ....MMMMMMM....nothing like Milk, Grease, and Alcohol to boost a nikkas immune system..... the sound of all that shit...damn near will skr8 scare your ass into feeling better..... anyways..... take all of that shit.....put on Jerry Springer.....watch that shit for like 15 minutes...... and then vomit/defecate all of your ills away..... that stuff will come pouring out of you..... like Lil Weezy making it rain.... stuff is relative....cuz you might lose some shit you thought you needed as well.....like a spleen or a gall bladder or something.... *sigh* then drink a shitload of water and gatorade...and V8 juice....to put back all that you lost.... oh and youre gonna need asprin.....lots of aspirin.... (I prefer BC) for two days you are done... but that 3rd day you will be able to go out and kick it.... and you will feel wonderful....and probably lose a pound or ten.... and weight loss to women is always good..... it works....sounds disgusting but it works..... and its a lot better than having the flu for seven to ten days....and missing work/school/social life anyway..... and your muscles wont hurt...... true story
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