Nivlekius's blog: "Justice Blanket"

I DO think things and I DO enjoy. In my mind I see myself On a green hillside where the bright green grass is tall and strong. The wind jostles it back and forth. And I sit there and enjoy the air and the sun shining on my face. And I watch that grass with not a care in the world and I wonder why I am here and then I realize in an instant that it is so that I can see that grass. I can write now about the wind blowing the grass with melodious strokes. Surely others have written before of grass in the wind and maybe they have done it more eloquently. But I am here now to write about the grass that I wish so badly that I could see.

Cool breeze on my face as I think of you it comforts me. Long nights I wait to hear your voice it comforts me. I rememeber. Believe me when I tell you I remember It comforts me too. Seeing your face is not like touching in my mind I feel you. Seeing your words is not like hearing in my mind I feel you. Only your presence can assuage in my mind I feel you. How long has it been I think to myself it seems so long. How long can a person wait for love it seems so long. And I wait here for your loving arms I continue waiting it seems so long.

And Mona's piercing eyes gazed at this man continuously eighty-seven degrees could not abate her judgmental eyes Mona knew, just as he, that he was wrong he was wronging himself. How peaceful Mona seemed while the farce continued She knew his mind, her eyes could see clean through him the smug smile on her fucking oil soaked face proved she knew his internal lie how often had she seen it. And Mona knew that other girl too, just as she herself may have been She saw the virtue in that man, a pity he'll never win Centuries past and centuries to come another place, another man it will happen-- again --and again-- and again. Perhaps Mona's face was fixed there from pity maybe for that man alone did those lips stretch in obvious feminine pleasure to see him kill himself with his own mind and destroy what was left of pride he was obviously dead inside and she didn't care. She was eighty-seven degrees from him but zero degrees from his mind.

I look at you and I see perfection. I see what god intended a woman to be. I see a body so soft and full of life I almost can't believe that behind all that is heart made of stone and head that matches that core. A place to rest a cock is what matters in your life so full of shallow report. If all there was to life and love was what is pleasing to my eyes then maybe it would be worth my time to listen to your selfish lies.

Crammed the test in testing his intestins for the worst part of an influencial movement of the bowels of hell. Boycott the stink of a burrito laiden sack of stench of pepper corn ridden flour for 20 minutes. Ignore the fact that the beans are paid for by the government of the USA to make sure that the price they are now they are going to stay in the hands of corporate farmers who make their immigrants slaves. Suck your slop and smack your lips and lick the hand and hope for once you get to feel a sense of pride or know that in this state you will die a man who works to make those who look at you as an animal thinner by the day. Thin, thin, thin , thin , thin make me thin, mexican. Pick my fruit and make me thin. And don't bitch when our leaders say your time here has reached its end.

China white doll the girl of my dreams the sun is your enemy And so it is mine. How I hate the fucking sun. I hate the fucking sun. I love my ivory white girl and I hate the fucking sun. Cancer can wait and the sun can fuck off I need my ivory girl the sun can fuck off.

In crimson tides I have swum through the muck of mental depression and through that muck I sprouted wings and said to myself, this is a good thing Through crimson tides I swim whenever I get the chance to dive through rivers so red and maybe one day it will dry and I will still try to swim but can't we all just be true and say In red tides it's more fun to swim?

Heute sehe ich eine Welt voll der Schmerz. Ein Ozean der Risse, die vom Regen überlaufen. Heute sehe ich einen Anblick, um zu erblicken, ein Engel der Gnade, zum meiner Seele zurückzukaufen. Ich möchte von frei sein leide. Ich abgeneigt aber, mehr, die ich erleide, mehr fühle ich. Ich gehöre. Aujourd'hui je vois un monde complètement de douleur. Un océan des larmes débordant de la pluie. Aujourd'hui je vois une vue pour voir, un ange de la pitié pour racheter mon âme. Je veux être libre de souffre. Je peu disposé mais plus que je souffre plus je me sens. J'appartiens. Vandaag zie ik een wereldhoogtepunt van pijn. Een oceaan van scheuren die van regen overlopen. Vandaag zie ik een gezicht aan behold, een engel van genade mijn ziel terugkopen. Ik wil vrij van zijn lijd. Ik afkerig maar lijd ik meer aan meer ik voel. Ik behoor.

Labors lost is our misfortune. A malfunctioning life of sin indulged in fervent lust. Breaking away the crust of an angry thought to invoke the pleasures of merchandise we've bought. Television expounds the light of yearning years of past. To fill the mind with visions of the myth of happiness. Curl and die while you think of the pain of the life you distain. And feel the hurt of that one that you knew. And feel the pain of that one you once thought was there and know for once that no one cares. And know that you are you and they are them and know that you cannot ammend for those sins. And know that now the sand where you sink was made by the stink of your own thoughts of happiness. And know that now your intelligence means nothing more than an open sore into which lonliness falls to spread its disease into your shell and split apart the atoms of yourself to make way for future beings. Perhaps what makes you you can become another. Perhaps they will be happy. Does that in the end mean you are happy. Does it mean you are sane or does it mean that you are on the earth to stay. To remain an energy or lack thereof to become in the end another helpless servant of love.

Creature, creature double feature you look like a movie star from the future you look like a ham on an old west spit you look like a dime covered in shit you look like a man I used to know who drove his Dodge Dart into town with a special mission to find the girl who stole his sneaker and wore it to the river to catch the yellow fishies that swim by the shore that play with kids when the parents are bored of playing cards with a single decked out clubber that dances outside while waiting to get in to the clubbing of baby seals to wear for fur by rich old women of the sadistic u.s. of a tormented soul who uses all his power to refuse the dish that tastes like pissing on the white walls of the city bus that used to run well but is now just barely moving on to higher dimensions of the mind to reset the clock of the earth's axis that chimes like the sound of an alarm clock that wakes him up from a deep sleep when all he wants to do is stay in a bed of roses that the aphids have all chewed up like a wad of gum on the sidewalk of a new york street that a vagrant sleeps on in the night of all nights and he can't wait to go to prom to fuck his girlfriend who has finally decided to put out to the world that she is gay and would rather sleep with her clothes off because it is much warmer on the beaches of spain than in france where the people shower every other day he thinks that he might do this and he might do that thing that keeps him up at night of all nights.