I see you across the room
And I want you so bad baby
I must have you
I see you looking at me too
And your eyes have wanton desire
I must have you now
I walk across the room towards you
Looking so longingly
I trip over the ottoman in the middle of the floor
I fall to the ground not so gracefully
Who the hell still buys ottomans?
I pick myself off the floor
I brush myself off and start walking again
Uh oh, why is the pitbull looking at me?
I stop and look back at him
He walks over to me and starts humping my leg
I try to push him off and tell him to stop
He looks at me and growls menacingly
I say okay but make it fast
After a whole tube of wet naps I start walking again
Shit, I stepped in a garbage pail
What's a garbage pail doing here?
It's stuck, and I try to get it off
I fall over again while I'm hopping around
I get up fast and look at you with need
I start again and some old lady gets in my way
She starts talking about the good old days
God I want you so bad it's like I won't have a next breath
What is she going on about now?
Flying across country for a nickel?
That was never even true
I tell her that I have explosive diarrhea and move on
You overheard that part, and your look of desire has changed
Oh no
I finally get to you and you look at me like I'm a monkey
An untrained monkey peeing in the centerpiece
Monkeys are still cool though so I go with that
Oo oo ahh ahh... and you smile
You are SO mine