Sometimes its hard to put in words how you feel, on the outside you may feel Ok, and people who see you think your coping well. But nobody can see whats going on inside of you, the pain your feeling and how empty you feel inside.
I thought that life with each passing day, would get slightly easier, as they tell you time is a great healer, but that is not the case, each day gets harder, there is always something there that reminds you.
I was talking to Di tonight (Brit bomber 1) and I told her I need to sort of apologise to people, people leave me comments and occasionally they may get a reply. I don't go round making my morning comments any more, in fact some days i don't log in to Fubar at all, other days I'm here for about 5 mins. I haven't forgot about you, just haven't got the heart in it, yes, i've thought about deleting my account, but a lot of people don't want me too, they want it here for me, if and when I return. So if you've left me a comment and i haven't been back, I have read your comment and appreciate it.
Before I go, I'd like to share a poem with you, that was left on Steven's memorial site
We do not need a special day
to bring you to our minds.
The days we do not think of you
are very hard to find
Every morning when we awake,
we know that you have gone.
And no one knows the heartache
as we try to carry on.
Our hearts still echo with sadness
and secret tears will flow.
What it means to lose you
no one will ever know.
Our thoughts are always with you,
Your place no one can fill.
In life we loved you dearly,
In death we love you still.
There will always be a heartache,
and often a silent tear,
but always a precious memory
of the days when you were here.
If tears could build a staircase,
and heartaches make a lane,
We'd walk the path to Heaven
and bring you home again
We hold you close within our hearts
and there you will remain,
to walk with us thoughout our lives
until we meet again.
Our family chain is broken now,
and nothing seems the same.
But as God calls us one by one,
the chain will link again.
