I find a random website. Chat with some amazing people some not so amazing but special in their own way I'm sure. I sit here in the dim candlelight and the brightness of the screen lighting my hands as I type. Pondering life and events or lack of.....So there is is, my life in wonder. I am passionate, caring, generous, intelligent, chivalrous, respectful and among others to say the least. Alas every light cloud has a darker side I sit alone in darkness wondering if I have all these qualities why am I sitting alone? Like many I have loved and lost, been through tradgedy and horrors that most should not endure and hopefully never will. I am fortunate enough that my mind can compartmentalize and somewhat blank out the memories but unfortunately some good ones get lost in the process as well. I suppose I am like most on here seeking some sense of purpose whether with or through other people, looking to see if there is a spark somewhere in my life that could use some improvement or excitement. But I also wonder how many other people are in wonder like myself. I think I have a pretty good life, good secure job, great skills, sense of humour, a life that most would give very much to have...and yet its still missing something or perhaps someone. I guess I'm wondering why? I'm not whining or bitching about anything I have or do, its just whatever I do, it seems.......empty and almost meaningless. So i guess I'll finish up as my candles flicker from the breeze of an open window as the gulf breeze passes through my place, I take my leave and let my mind wander....perhaps to add more at a later day when my ramblings become clear enough to put down on paper again