When dose one stop feeling like the world is out to get them ? When dose one feel that life will finely work for them ?
Sometimes i sit here n wounder if life will ever be easy for me. If it will allow me to be truly happy . I know life is what we all make it . But when dose one have to stop running up hill n get a chance to stand at the top n look at the beauty with in it ?
Sometimes i just want to stop running n lie down n give up . I am tired of running n trying . I really think at times im just meant to be a memory then a reality . I think at times if i was a memory i would not hurt so much n i would not hurt others .
Just like everyone else i want to be happy . I want to be loved for me and be the best parent i can be . But anymore i feel like a failure in all i do .
When will i get the chance to show someone what all i have to give ? When will life see fit for me to give my all to someone n not get my heart ripped out ?
We all feel this way i know n i know there r no real answers. Maybe there r answers but they r locked inside all of us . If we look deep enough maybe just maybe we will find what we seek i dont know . What i do know is somewhere there r answers. But we all have to have the courage to find them . Granted they may not be the answers we want . They will be the ones we need. We just have to be strong enough to accept them n learn from them . I truly believe that life is a leap of faith n it is up to each of us to take that leap of faith .
I know it aint always easy and at times its scary as hell. If there is one thing i have learned recently is that even when u feel like becoming a memory u cant. You may have lost at love or ur faith may have been shaken but with friends n family u can n will in time get back up and be stronger for it .
You never know what u have been looking for may be right there in front of u holding out a hand to help u back up .
Sometimes we just have to look at those around us and realize that we r loved n wanted and needed. I know here for a while i didnt think i was but with the relentless few i have come to see that i am worth more than i ever thought .
Yes i still want to lie down n become a memory.
I still think everyone would be better off without me to hurt them but i am slowly seeing that i cant do that.
