I just so tired of getting guys who just want to talk about my breasts and what I like about sex, etc. I just want someone to talk to for now. I don't know why, well I do, but I'm not gonna keep bringing it up, ok? But I feel like I'm dead inside, the part that wants passion and caring. So I'm just not going to jump into anyone's bed just for fun anymore. I can't seem to separate the two anymore. Opening up my passion would be like opening up my heart for love, and I can't do that right now. I mean I'm not lonely in a way that's bad. I'm kinda calm and sedate about it. The thing that scares me is letting someone in, I still gotta work on the Trust issue. And I've been reading alot of helpful things and moving slowly towards letting myself out there again. I just gotta get through this damned Hallmark holiday and all the commercials with love, love love....... But I don't have to worry about love coming to me, cuz all I'm getting is offers for sex. So I'll be backing off every time I hear about that online..... only cuz I'm not going to respond in the way I used to like flirting back and letting you think I want just sex. It doesn't do anything for me, ok? So please don't bother guys....unless you wanna be SHOT DOWN
