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Twisted and singed wing Angel's blog: "angel"

created on 02/03/2007  |  http://fubar.com/angel/b51460
Where is the biggest battle we face in life? In out own minds. My mind is a virtual dictionary of all the things I am not. I am not pretty, not by the worlds standards, I have fuzzy hair (thanks dad) and weird ears. and large chested( thanks mom). I sometimes say too much and can often be very verbally biting. If you dont wanna know dont ask me lol. I am a perfectionist in a body that will never be perfect. I have no tolerance for liars, or cheaters, people that abuse kids or animals or the elderly. I am a bigger woman, not model thin and probably never will be,(if I lose weight it all crawls to my chest which is irritating cause then I am wayyy too top heavy. I write better then I speak, finding it easier to say what I mean thru this form rather then face to face, unless I am irritated then I have a loose tounge lol. I am afraid of heights and I love to sing but am terrified to sing in front of people. I want to travel places and yet am scared to travel very far from home. I see these women on here and feel totally substandard compared to most of them. But I have a short temper and love kids lmbo I can always help someone else with their problems and cant deal with my own. I will pray for others before myself, I feel unworthy. Then I open the bible and see that I am fearfully and wonderfully made, I have been given a spirit of strength and not one of fear and a mind body. I am a lender not a borrower a giver not a taker, that part I will admit, I will help anyone and will give the shirt off my back if someone else needs it more, but this often times makes me feel like a doormat. So how hard it is to take what I see in themirror and mix it with what God says He sees in me. How awesome that He knows the hairs on my head including those I lose when my kids lead me to pull em out lol. that I am an instrument of praise and hope to someone else. That I am loved and have been since before my birth. that I can never screw up so bad that I have become beyond forgiveness. that even though I am just a body of flesh and bone, God chooses to let HIs holy presence envelop me and guide me in teh way I should go. How easy those things are to read and repeat but to have them embed in your mind is had to do. so I have to choose to say them till I believe it, say them till I know I am a daughter of the Most high God. Not merely a person but a Queen in his court. Not just a mom but a chosen vessel of his. amazing all the lies we tell ourselves and yet the truth is so much better then what we could ever imagine.
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