Biker Chick's blog: "Just Stuff"

Guaranteed to get at least a little something in the sack.
If you get tired, wait ten minutes and go at it again.
The uglier you look, the easier it is to get some.
You don't have to compliment the person who gave you some.
Person giving you some, doesn't fantasize you're someone else.
If you get a stomach ache, it won't last for nine months.
If you wear your Batman mask, no one will think you're weird.
Doesn't matter if kids hear you moaning and groaning.
No guilt the next morning.
If you don't get what you want, you can always go next door.

Italian Men An 80-year old Italian man goes to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor is amazed at what good shape the guy is in and asks, "How do you stay in such great physical condition?" I'm Italian and I am a golfer," says the old guy, "and that's why I'm in such good shape." I'm up well before daylight and out golfing up and down the fairways." "Have a glass of vino, and all is well." "Well," says the doctor, "I'm sure that helps, but there's got to be more to it. How old was your Dad when he died?" "Who said my Dad's dead?" The doctor is amazed. "You mean you're 80 years old and your Dad's still alive. How old is he?" "He's 100 years old," says the old Italian golfer. "In fact he golfed with me this morning, and then we went to the topless beach for a walk, that's why he's still alive .. he's Italian and he's a golfer too." "Well," the doctor says, "that's great, but I'm sure there's more to it than that. How about your Dad's Dad? How old was he when he died?" "Who said my grandpa's dead?" "He's still akick'n." Stunned, the doctor asks, "You mean you're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living! Incredible, how old is he?" "He's 118 years old," says the old Italian golfer. The doctor is getting frustrated at this point, "So, I guess he went golfing with you this morning too?" "No. Grandpa couldn't go this morning because he's getting married today." At this point the doctor is close to losing it. "Getting married!! Why would a 118 year-old guy want to get married?" "Who said he wanted to? ---- gotta love 'em

To my darling husband , Before you return from your overseas trip I want to let you know about the accident I had with the pick-up truck when I turned into the driveway. Fortunately, it’s not too bad and I really didn't get hurt. Please don't worry too much about me. I was coming home from shopping. When I turned into the driveway I accidentally pushed on the accelerator instead of the brake. The garage door is slightly bent but the pick-up fortunately came to a halt when it bumped into your work car. I am really sorry - but I know, with your kind-hearted personality, you will forgive me. You know how much I love you and care for you my Sweetheart. I cannot wait to hold you in my arms again. XOXOXOXO Your loving wife, > > > > > > > > > > > > > > > >