Mally's blog: "Just some rambling"

Sitting here all alone.  Thinking and wondering.  Wishing and hoping that one day I will finally know what real happiness is.  I paint a pretty smile, but hide behind my social mask.  My face is dry, yet the tears continue to stroll down, deep inside.  Why must I feel this way?  Is anyone really happy or is it just something that is said because it's what they think we want to hear?  Why is being truthful to ones self so hard to do?  Are we really happy when we say we do things to keep others happy?  Can they not see the blade tearing us up inside?  Are they really that blind?  Why do we push aside the people that really care for us, for the people who could care less about us?  Why must I always be the responsible one?  When can I just run wild and free?  When is it my turn to not feel the pain?  When people say you're a great person, what are they really telling you?  Are they feeding you bullshit lies?  Can you really trust those that you think you can?  How is it possible to have so many people around you, but feel lonlier than ever?  Where are those people that say they'll always be around?  Why is it so hard for people to accept you just the way you are?  How can simple words cause you to be happy one minute or make you cry another? 

OK.....so this is just some more rambling.  Guess it was just one of those days