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What are you waiting for?
I sit and think about everything Ive been through in my life.All the many people Ive known..some Ive loved a great deal and let slip through my fingers,some Ive completely hated,and some that just ceased to be.Most of these people have journeyed to a place where I cant follow.Life,sometimes,can be cruel and unfair.
Hindsight is 20/20.As I look back on ALL thats happened over the past 26 years,I realize I would do it all over again if I had to.Even though a lot of it was quite dark,and dangerous...looking at it now,after going through it all,I now see it as quite the journey.How many people can say that they've looked death in the face over 100 times and are still alive to tell the tale?Not many,Ive found out.Not many,indeed.Im a survivor of MANY hardships and sorrows.I have known pain,and sadness...misery and longing.Im not much for opening myself up anymore.Ive been hurt too many times,and now I find its just not worth the risk anymore.Besides,nobody is even on MY emotional level...and probably,never will be.Does that mean I must live a life of lonliness?Yes it does.But Im content with myself at this point.And anyone who spends enough time with me,eventually,finds me quite disagreeable.Sad,but true.I know myself best.And what I DO know is Im not a people person.Oh,I might be friendly enough on here.Some may even say Im down right charming...Ive heard it all before.But thats on here.In real life Im paranoid,cantankerous,grumpy,aggitated...as well many other choice names I cant think of right now.Its for certain reasons I choose to be alone.Its easier.Mayhap one day I'll meet that special someone...actually,I think I HAVE met her already.But Im a big believer in 'the jynx',so I wont speak on that.Anyway...when the time comes,I'll know it.You always do.Your gut instinct tells you so.And I'll be ready...waiting with open arms.
