LifesaBiTcH and SO AM I's blog: "Just ME !"

I absolutley LOVE this song ...... and the lyrics make alot of sense to me at this time in my life . I have never been as cold as he was to me . Dont think I ever cold be ..... Its kind of ironic , all those years I wasted , all those tears that fell ..... and he never ever ever noticed the pain in my eyes . And now my hard is hardened and I have chosen to not allow it to be broken day after . Its really over . And he is the one feeling all the pain. But I dont think that it makes me COLD . A heart can only be broken and put back together so many times .... before you decide that you wont let it be ANYMORE . NEVER AGAIN ! Even the most injured of hearts can and will one day be mended but will always have the scars to show the pain that it once felt ! I picked my heart up off the floor ...... time and time again ..... I feel as if it is mended for now ..... but there is a barbed wire fence standing high around it , guarding it ........

I just feel the need to vent about a whole lot of things .... I dont know where to start .... Who knows if anyone cares , but if I get it all out then at least I will feel better ..... ~~For those people who felt the need to run their mouths , I have never once cheated on my husband while we were together ..... I never met and slept with anyone on here ...Actually I have never met anyone from this site unless I already knew them in real life before i added them on here . ~~ Yes I was "owned" by people and had it in my name . No I did not know these people in REAL life ..... They simply bought me in an auction on here and I rated their pages and bought gifts .....It is done by tons of people on here and I dont think it is a big deal I am so tired of all the drama that has been going on ..... that is a whole other blog that I will write when I am in the right mindset . I just needed to clarify these things . Fubar is a website , it certainly is not my life . I have a life that I would not trade for anything ....even with my current problems ..... I love my life . I have wonderful friends and I have 3 beautiful children who amaze and inspire me . They are my world , they light up my life and they make me more happy than I can put into words . Fubar has NOTHING to do with the reason I am getting a divorce . It just seems that since we have seperated I have been constantly scrutinized about what I do ....blah blah blah . I dont really care . Yes I have made some GREAT friends here .....some who I talk to quite often . But it is my choice who I become friends with ......Anyone can think whatever they please . My life is mine to lead however I want to live it . From now on . My life is finally mine again . I WILL NEVER jeopordize my children , if you know me then you know that I am a great mom .

I just wanted to update my status ..... Since I didnt elaborate much in my last blog .I am so absolutly 100 % sure that my marriage is really really over this time . And I really am fine with it . People change . Feelings change . I have not felt so secure with myself in YEARS . I feel freedom . Like I was an animal and someone finally opened the cage and let me go . This proves to me that it really is for the best . I always knew I was strong enough to do it , but some hidden insecurity let me fall for all the lies and the deception time and time again . But i know in my heart that YOU CANT CHANGE SOMEONE and I do not love who he became over the past few years ......... So I am over him . I am over it .... And I am moving on with my life .... making decisions that are right for ME and my children ....... And I am proud of myself because I know that this is what is RIGHT !

Hello Everyone ! I know i havent been on here hardly at all lately . Just wanted to apologize . I havent been trying to ignore anyone . Just been goin thru alot lately and my kids have really needed me . So that has to come first . My husband and I have recently seperated which I believe is for the best for everyone right now . We are actually getting along better then we have in years since we do not live together and he is being really good to the kids . That is quite honestly the only thing that matters to me at this point in my life . I just need to help my kids get thru this . Who knows what the future holds ..... I just know right now I need to be there for my kids ! And to those certain people ( u know who u are ) that seem to alwyas be there for me to vent to and ramble on like a crazy person .....Thank you sooooo sooooo much . Sometimes I just need to talk and get all these emotions out so I can go on with my day ..... And you know it and you help me more than I think you ever know ! THANK YOU !