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LifesaBiTcH and SO AM I's blog: "Just ME !"

created on 05/05/2008  |  http://fubar.com/just-me/b213182

I absolutley LOVE this song ...... and the lyrics make alot of sense to me at this time in my life . I have never been as cold as he was to me . Dont think I ever cold be ..... Its kind of ironic , all those years I wasted , all those tears that fell ..... and he never ever ever noticed the pain in my eyes . And now my hard is hardened and I have chosen to not allow it to be broken day after . Its really over . And he is the one feeling all the pain. But I dont think that it makes me COLD . A heart can only be broken and put back together so many times .... before you decide that you wont let it be ANYMORE . NEVER AGAIN ! Even the most injured of hearts can and will one day be mended but will always have the scars to show the pain that it once felt Even the most injured of hearts can and will one day be mended but will always have the scars to show the pain that it once felt ! I picked my heart up off the floor ...... time and time again ..... I feel as if it is mended for now ..... but there is a barbed wire fence standing high around it , guarding it ........

I just feel the need to vent about a whole lot of things .... I dont know where to start .... Who knows if anyone cares , but if I get it all out then at least I will feel better ..... ~~For those people who felt the need to run their mouths , I have never once cheated on my husband while we were together ..... I never met and slept with anyone on here ...Actually I have never met anyone from this site unless I already knew them in real life before i added them on here . ~~ Yes I was "owned" by people and had it in my name . No I did not know these people in REAL life ..... They simply bought me in an auction on here and I rated their pages and bought gifts .....It is done by tons of people on here and I dont think it is a big deal I am so tired of all the drama that has been going on ..... that is a whole other blog that I will write when I am in the right mindset . I just needed to clarify these things . Fubar is a website , it certainly is not my life . I have a life that I would not trade for anything ....even with my current problems ..... I love my life . I have wonderful friends and I have 3 beautiful children who amaze and inspire me . They are my world , they light up my life and they make me more happy than I can put into words . Fubar has NOTHING to do with the reason I am getting a divorce . It just seems that since we have seperated I have been constantly scrutinized about what I do ....blah blah blah . I dont really care . Yes I have made some GREAT friends here .....some who I talk to quite often . But it is my choice who I become friends with ......Anyone can think whatever they please . My life is mine to lead however I want to live it . From now on . My life is finally mine again . I WILL NEVER jeopordize my children , if you know me then you know that I am a great mom .

I just wanted to update my status ..... Since I didnt elaborate much in my last blog .I am so absolutly 100 % sure that my marriage is really really over this time . And I really am fine with it . People change . Feelings change . I have not felt so secure with myself in YEARS . I feel freedom . Like I was an animal and someone finally opened the cage and let me go . This proves to me that it really is for the best . I always knew I was strong enough to do it , but some hidden insecurity let me fall for all the lies and the deception time and time again . But i know in my heart that YOU CANT CHANGE SOMEONE and I do not love who he became over the past few years ......... So I am over him . I am over it .... And I am moving on with my life .... making decisions that are right for ME and my children ....... And I am proud of myself because I know that this is what is RIGHT !

Hello Everyone ! I know i havent been on here hardly at all lately . Just wanted to apologize . I havent been trying to ignore anyone . Just been goin thru alot lately and my kids have really needed me . So that has to come first . My husband and I have recently seperated which I believe is for the best for everyone right now . We are actually getting along better then we have in years since we do not live together and he is being really good to the kids . That is quite honestly the only thing that matters to me at this point in my life . I just need to help my kids get thru this . Who knows what the future holds ..... I just know right now I need to be there for my kids ! And to those certain people ( u know who u are ) that seem to alwyas be there for me to vent to and ramble on like a crazy person .....Thank you sooooo sooooo much . Sometimes I just need to talk and get all these emotions out so I can go on with my day ..... And you know it and you help me more than I think you ever know ! THANK YOU !
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