sweetbrwneyedgurl27's blog: "JUST ME IF YOU CARE TO KNOW"

I thought i would take time out of my super busy schedual (NOT!!) to tell everyone who care's a bit about my self and how i came to be the person i am.

My Name is Tyna, I was born in Springerville Az. was born and raised in Arizona for the majority of my life. I am the youngest of 12 siblings (ya i know mom and dad shoulda bought a tv), By the time i can really remember most my siblings were grown and gone, it was only 3 or 4 of us in the house yaay.  As being the youngest, i am the Baby my oppinion and thoughts mean nothing to my family i learned long time ago to just shut up and do whtever they decided and it came to the point even to today if someone ask my oppinon or asks what i want to do, i find myself at a loss. I usually just say... "whatever u want" and if i'm not happy with the dicision i suffer in silence. I moved from Eden Az to Teme Az when i was 18 to find a job and start a life of boring lol.

Any ways to jusmp a few years of nothing i met my husband in around Thnksgiving in 02 and married him feb of 03. I married him cuz i was pregnant. Needless to say it was not a happy marriage, He was always angry and yelling,  Children did not help. He rarely worked so i was the bread winner and mom and dad to my children. He always accused me of cheating and doing things of course i never did. I had stopped sleeping with him and we exsisted together strictly for the kids... I was tired of feeling unloved and alone.. i had a couple afffiars with a couple friends.. ( i figured if i was gunna get accused and yelled at i might as well get something out of it lol) i know thats not right. Around Jan or so of 07 i met someone on here Fubar, he was sweet and kind and said all the right things i wanted to hear from a man. I ended up having an internet affair with him untill it became a physicall affair when he traveled to see me. It was love at least i thought so. He's a military man and is stationed in NY and me in Az so of course seeing him is not an option all the time.

Cps got called on me and my husband come to find out while i'm working at night or sleepng during the day my husband is not caring for our 3 children the way he should. Well to cut it short he got violent with me and i got a restraining order against him... shipped my kids off to MO to my dad while i got things in order to fallow. My internet love turned into a real relationship we were together 3 years, seeing him as often as i oculd, he took care of me when i couldnt work wich was awesome considering my husband lol, promised to grow old together no matter how much i pushed him away and tried! i have a very real inability to let people close to me, so i push and i pick fights cuz Thats just the way i am, trying to keep people at a distance... . But as all good things do it came to an end, i wanted to try things and do thins he wanted none of, so when i moved again into a place i could afford he dumped me. we are still friends and i still love and care for him in my own warped way. And he loves me in whatever way he does.

So here i am today alone and miserable but i would rather be miserable then caring for someone and making them miserable. I always do.

Ever since my ex broke up with me i have been chatting online for companionship and laughter, i am looking for nothing but friendship (something men have a really hard time understanding) but i have managed to find a few people i talk to on a regular basis. So i guess that is the end of my pathetic story untill later...