Rebel Cowboy's blog: "Just for laughs"

"The Train Set"

Little Johnny was in the living room playing with his train set while his mother was in the kitchen getting dinner ready. Johnny would take his train around the track and stop then announce "all you mother fuckers getting on get on and all you mother fuckers getting off get off".
Johnny's mommy thought she heard johnny say these bad words but wasn't sure so she listened and sure enough she heard Johnny announce "all you mother fuckers getting off get off and all you mother fuckers getting on get on".
Johnny's mom rushed in the room and told Johnny that he was to go to his room and think about the language he was using and not to come down from his room till he figured it out.
So Johnny goes to his room and remains there for over an hour. Finally he comes down and tells his mother that he knows what he did wrong and it won't happen again. So Johnny's mommy says "ok go play and don't let me hear those words again".

So Johnny goes back to the living room and takes his train around the track and then stops it and exclaims "all you kind people getting off get off and all you kind people getting on get on and if you have any complaints about the delay talk to the bitch in the kitchen"

Polish Divorce
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Polish man moved to the USA and married an American girl. Although his English was far from perfect, they got along very well until one day he rushed into a lawyer's office and asked him if he could arrange a divorce for him - "very quick."

The lawyer said that the speed for getting a divorce would depend on the circumstances, and asked him the following questions:

LAWYER: "Have you any grounds?"

POLE: "JA, JA, acre and half and nice little home."

LAWYER: "No," I mean what is the foundation of this case?"

POLE: "It made of concrete."

LAWYER: "Does either of you have a real grudge?"

POLE: "No, we have carport, and not need one."

LAWYER: "I mean, what are your relations like?"

POLE: "All my relations still in Poland."

LAWYER: "Is there any infidelity in your marriage?"

POLE: "Ja, we have hi- fidelity stereo set and good DVD player."

LAWYER: Does your wife beat you up?"

POLE: "No, I always up before her."

LAWYER: "Is your wife a nagger?"

POLE: "No, she white."

LAWYER: "WHY do you want this divorce?"

POLE: "She going to kill me."

LAWYER: "What makes you think that?"

POLE: "I got proof.

LAWYER: "What kind of proof?"

POLE: "She going to poison me. She buy a bottle at drugstore and put on ! shelf in bathroom. I can read, and it say, 'Polish Remover'."

The Barking Dog
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A blonde and her husband are lying in bed listening to the next door neighbor's dog. It has been in the backyard barking for hours and hours. The blonde jumps up out of bed and says, "I've had enough of this". She goes downstairs.

The blonde finally comes back up to bed And her husband says "The dog is still barking, What have you been doing?"

The blonde says, "I put the dog in our backyard, let's see how THEY like it!