Jaykob's blog: "My life"

well onto another blog nobody will read..:D

As I said before, this is my stress relief.

Well yes, the 5th did suck, just like I was sure it would, 5 years of marriage down the drain, when I tried to go to sleep this morning I honestly was surprised by how badly it affected me.  I haven't cried in a long time, but I'll be honest I did today twice, when I tried to fall asleep (which didn't really work) and then talking to my parents later about everything.  Of course talking to them about my problems is never a good thing, my mom just decided to tell me how much she has always "hated the bitch" which doesn't surprise me, although some of the reasons surprised me, but then when my dad jumped in the bandwagon it really did shock me.  He had always seemed like he loved her and I had no idea that she had pissed him off beyond hurting his son, but no, he apparently saw her as hopeless and worthless as my mother did.  Now I'm not saying that I agreed with everything they said, but it did put some things in perspective for me and did help a lot, especially my father.  I wont bore you with the details but the best way to say it was that my wife and I are toxic together, she brings me down and she doesn't help out a lot with that.  Maybe I am better off without her, I just hate this lonely feeling, like I'm going to be stuck this way for a long time, but I'm paranoid and I know this.  Oh well, I talked to my best friend Nikki and she cheered me up and I'm doing a bit better now, I think I'll be fine soon, I just can't wait for this divorce to be final so I can see how I feel then.  Oh well, off to try to add a few pics in my folders since nobody reads profiles or blogs on here it's the only way you'll ever learn anything about me.