March 1, 2007
Well I really like doing these blogs. Nice way to put down your thoughts. One of the things I have found out since the divorce is that I'm glad that I can be back to being myself and not being controlled and manipulated like I was. But according to her everything really was my fault and she had no blame. How is for you we were at the marriage consuelor and when he told her to shut off her cell she decided she diednt need to be there but that I needed to be there. How is that for you. I was told by the conseulor that no matter what I did it would not be good enough for her. How is that hitting it on the head in just one session. LOL I have gotten a few tattoos because I like them and have bought some things for myself. Repiecred my ear and even did a second one. Don't much like being alone because I know that God did not mean for us to be alone. I guess that I really dont like it but that is the way it is for now. I have meet some from some of these sites here online but when you go for coffee and they start to talk about their bills it makes you feel like a paycheck sitting there. It is like wow I went through that once won't go through it again. If I do meet someone she will have to like affection and not mind if I call her sweetheart or baby or if I send her cards or get her flowers. And not tell me that flowers are a waste of money because they die but that is not the idea on sending flowers now is it. Boy we are really getting a snow storm here today. Thank God for vacation time. When the Boss turned around and went home so did I. It was a chore getting home but made it. I have looked out the door and it is shit all of this now LOL And it is suppose to keep up till 6 tonight. I know that I have some life stories and things I can say but it is all water under the bridge now. There really is no use into bringing it up. Maybe someone that doesn't mind sleeping in the nude or doesn't mind sex. I have found out that I really like it more now then I did then with her. And at least I work, the guy she married doesn't and won't work. Now that is something I can't figure out how could you go from haviing everything to going to have nothing. Never made sense to me but I have tried to quit trying to figure that one out. I probably never will. I have found out that I don't know that much on sex but I'm willing to try. I have heard some horror stories out there and more from women then men. Just can't figure that one out. Then there are those men and women who portray themselves as something they are not or they use someone elses pictures. Don't they think that sooner or later if they do meet that it will be obvious that the other won't notice. Some times I think that I expect to much but I don't really think so. And I found out a new term that I didn't even know about. It was when I was down in Louisiana for hurricane duty and someone said friends with benefits and I looked at them and said what does that mean either I'm naive or to old. I dont consider myself that old but I never heard that imagine my surprise when I found out what it meant LOL But there isnt to many of my friends that I would considered that with not that there isn't a couple that I would like to do that with LOL I don't know have I turned into a horn dog LOL But there is something said about laying naked next to someone. To touch and to love nothing like it for sure. Wow the blizzard warning is now till 6AM in the morning Shit alot of snow LOL Glad I didnt wait to come home. Well I do have everything here and dont need to go get anything. The only thing is no one here to cuddle with. This is good weather to do this for sure. Thank God for electric blankets LOL They do work in a pinch. I hope all will be safe out there. It is really nasty. I guess I could get into my sweats but will do that later. Maybe watch a movie as I do have a few DVDs. Listening to the radio they are having a teleathon for children's hospital and hearing these stories makes me realize that I don't really have it that bad. Glad that I do donate to the agencies that I do. I know it helps. It is not much but every little bit helps. Life can be amazing if you let it. One thing I do wish if I could change and that is to have my oldest child back. Boy is it really blowing out there. Well with this it makes it nice to have vacation time and I can work on blogs. Life is to short not to enjoy it. I have found out that I like myspace and glad a friend of mine my bro talked me into it. I like the blogs and it is nice looking at profiles and reading other people's blogs and making a comment if you can or a comment on the pictures that they share with all of us on here. Not many my age for sure. I have looked at alot of profiles and most of them seem to be in there teens or twentys , thirtys And a few older and I mean a few. LOL Even if they dont resond to a comment I have made that is perfectly okay by me. But if someone comments on mine I try to respond back with at least a thank you. I know that I'm looking but if I can get just some friends to talk to via email on line that is perfectly okay by me. And if it is someone younger then me if I can help with some advice or with a shoulder that is also okay by me. I have been thrrough alot and if anything I have been through and can offer advice to help them get through it okay then I know that I did something good. Well I think that some people will think I'm rambling but just talking with whatever comes to mind. It is bad out and I know my work place never closes no matter how bad it gets. But I have realized that it is nice to be myself again. I have gotten a few tattoos now I have 18 always knew that I like tattoos. And I did have my ear piecred but she didnt like it so I didnt wear it she said if I did that she would rip it out ouch. So repiecred it and even got it piecred a second time. Great being me again. I will give her one thing and she got me in to dressing up for work and now I just love it. I have taken it to a level which is great I love color coordinating my dress shirts with a matching tie. My closet looks like a rainbow. LOL I finally was able to get a family picture of me and my kids and granddaughters except for my oldest child and my newest granddaughter. So that is cool. And I never thought that I would be where I am with my career. I have recieved awards and even had a newspaper article done on me. Which was really cool I thought that it would be a one paragraph but it turned out to be a whole page article. An outstanding surprise for sure. I think I just might be getting to long to where I could possibly be putting people to sleep LOL I guess more maybe later. Be good be careful and please be safe.
