Judge: (reviewing notes) You fled two police officers.
Defendant: (wasted, nods head)
Judge: You hid in a car.
Defendant: (appears nearly asleep)
Judge: You defaced a street sign.
Defendant: (nothing)
Judge: (shakes head, disgusted) You removed two bags of...pretzels from a market without paying.
Defendant: (bolts awake) They were out of Doritos. I wanted Doritos...
-- Overheard in: Courthouse, Somerville Cty NJ --