Over 16,514,303 people are on fubar.
What are you waiting for?

The Dragon Slayer's blog: "Jokes!!"

created on 02/26/2007  |  http://fubar.com/jokes/b59345

Things You'd Love To Say Out-Loud At Work

1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of sh*t. 2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce. 3. How about never? Is never good for you? 4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. 5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way. 6. Who lit the fuse on your tampon? 7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message. 8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant. 9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying. 10. Ahhhh. I see the f*ck-up fairy has visited us again. 11. I like you. You remind me of myself when I was young and stupid. 12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers. 13. I have plenty of talent and vision; I just don't give a sh*t. 14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth. 15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you. 16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view. 17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist. 18. Any resemblance between your reality and mine are purely coincidental. 19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks?! 20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant. 21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off. 22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial. 23. And your cry-baby whiny-arsed opinion would be? 24. Do I look like a f*cking people person to you? 25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 26. I started out with nothing and I still have most of it left. 27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 28. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 30. Whatever kind of look you were aiming for, you missed. 31. Oh I get it. Like humour, but different......... 32. An office is just a mental institute without the padded walls. 33. Can I swap this job for what's behind door .........1? 34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 35. Nice perfume (or aftershave). Must you marinate in it? 36. Chaos, panic, and disorder. My work here is done. 37. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 38. I thought I wanted a career; it turns out I just needed the money. 39. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being more intelligent. 40. Wait a minute - I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 41. Aren't you a black hole of need. 42. I'd like to help you out, which way did you come in? 43. Did you eat an extra bowl of stupid this morning? 44. Why don't you slip into something more comfortable? Like a coma. 45. If you have something to say raise your hand.........then place it over your mouth. 46. I'm too busy, can I ignore you some other time? 47. Don't let your mind wander, its too small to be let out on its own. 48. Have a nice day, somewhere else. 49. Youre not yourself today, I noticed the improvement straight away. 50. You are as pretty as a picture, I'd really like to hang you. 51. Don't believe everything you think. 52. Do you hear that? That's the sound of no-one caring
1. The later you are, the more excited your dogs are to see you. 2. Dogs will forgive you for playing with other dogs. 3. If a dog is gorgeous, other dogs don't hate it. 4. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name. 5. Dogs like it if you leave a lot of things on the floor. 6. A dog's parents never visit. 7. Dogs do not hate their bodies. 8. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across. 9. Dogs like to do their snooping outside rather than in your wallet or desk. 10. Dogs seldom outlive you. 11. Dogs can't talk. 12. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go 24 hours a day. 13. Dogs find you amusing when you're drunk. 14. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing. 15. Another man will seldom steal your dog. 16. A dog will not wake you up at night to ask, "If I died, would you get another dog?" 17. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and give them away. 18. A dog will let you put a studded collar on it without calling you a pervert. 19. A dog won't hold out on you to get a new car. 20. If a dog smells another dog on you, they don't get mad. They just think it's interesting. 21. On a car trip, your dog never insists on running the heater. 22. Dogs don't let magazine articles guide their lives. 23. When your dog gets old, you can have it put to sleep. 24. Dogs like to ride in the back of a pick-up truck. 25. Dogs are not allowed in Bloomingdale's or Neiman-Marcus. And, last but not least: 26. If a dog leaves, it won't take half of your stuff.
last post
17 years ago
posts
2
views
816
can view
everyone
can comment
everyone
atom/rss

other blogs by this author

 17 years ago
Animations!!
 17 years ago
X-men
 17 years ago
Red Bull Xmas Cake
official fubar blogs
 8 years ago
fubar news by babyjesus  
 13 years ago
fubar.com ideas! by babyjesus  
 10 years ago
fubar'd Official Wishli... by SCRAPPER  
 10 years ago
Word of Esix by esixfiddy  

discover blogs on fubar

blog.php' rendered in 0.0452 seconds on machine '110'.