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babygirl's blog: "jokes"

created on 02/15/2007  |  http://fubar.com/jokes/b55672

jokes

> >One for the ladies > >One day my housework-challenged husband decided to wash his Sweat- > > >shirt. Seconds after he stepped into the laundry room, he shouted to me, >"What setting do I use on the washing machine?" > > >"It depends," I replied. "What does it say on your shirt?" > > >He yelled back, " University of Oklahoma " > > >And they say blondes are dumb... > > >----------------------------------------------------------- > > >A couple is lying in bed. The man says, > > >"I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world." > > >The woman replies, "I'll miss you..." > > >----------------------------------------------------------- > > >"It's just too hot to wear clothes today," Jack says as he stepped out of >the shower, "honey, what do you think the neighbors would think if I mowed >the lawn like this?" > > >"Probably that I married you for your money," she replied. > > >----------------------------------------------------------- > > >He said - Shall we try swapping positions tonight? > > >She said - That's a good idea... you stand by the ironing board while I sit >on the sofa and fart. > > >----------------------------------------------------------- > > >Q: What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man? > > >A: A rumor > > >------------- ---------------------------------------------- > > >A man and his wife, now in their 60's, were celebrating their 40th wedding >anniversary. On their special day a good fairy came to them and said that >because they had been so good that each one of them could have one wish. > > >The wife wished for a trip aroun d the world with her husband. > > >Whoosh! Immediately she had airline/cruise tickets in her hands. > > >The man wished for a female companion 30 years younger. > > >Whoosh...immediately he turned ninety!!! > > >Gotta love that fairy! > > >----------------------------------------------------------- > > >Dear Lord, > > >I pray for Wisdom to understand my man; Love to forgive him; And Patience >for his moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for Strength, I'll beat him to >death. > > >AMEN > > >--------------------------------------------------------------------------- - >--------------------------------------------------------------------------- - >-- --------- - > > >Q: Why do little boys whine? > > >A: They are practicing to be men. > > >----------------------------------------------------------- > > >Q: What do you call a handcuffed man? > > >A: Trustworthy. > > >----------------------------------------------------------- > > >Q: What does it mean when a man is in your bed gasping for breath and >calling your name? > > >A: You did not hold the pillow down long enough. > > >----------------------------------------------------------- > > >Q: Why do men whistle when they are sitting on the toilet? > > >A: It helps them remember which end they need to wipe. > > >----------------------------------------------------------- > > >Q: How do you keep your husband from reading your e-mail? > > >A: Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals"
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